And the answer is: I am so blessed.

Tuesday June 8 and Tuesday June 22 were both really fine days. Hot but tolerable sorta. I went to get some crafting things from the garage to put together a tower for 4th of July. I was going to build it and get it outta my creative brain. But I bent over to pick up a roll of 40 year old discolored and wonderfully worn crepe paper. You know the kind that makes a "rusty, dusty and just my style" gal drool. Well I didn't drool but I did go flop onto the garage floor. 

My neighbors heard me screaming for help from poor Joe who can't hear worth a damn, with or without hearing aids. The three of us messed around trying to find some way I could pull myself up with help for about 30 minutes. But, years of abuse on my arthritic, torn rotator cuffs, and sprinkle a little bursitis and I couldn't right myself. Plus I guess my left knee was jealous and became immoble. Joe finally fiqured there was some activity and came out to the garage door. So more saged old man advice for another 45 minutes and then declared we call the fire department, which he did.

Only had the AFD come out at our other house because my 6 foot long iguana had knocked her heat lamp onto a pile of fabric in my studio and that started a small fire. This time it was me that had to have them assist. They were marvelous, and not bad to look at. Me on the other hand, hadn't taken a shower so I was the best rendition of wreck of the Hesparas. They we were also kind and very efficient. They wrapped a towel under my arms, held my hands, let me rest me feet on theirs to gain traction and boom I was up.

I was so grateful.

They had me sit in my walker that I bought at a garage sale 7 years ago (ever so dusty) and walk out onto the driveway to make sure I was okay. As they drove away, I blew a kiss to them and the shorter of the 4 firemen blew me back a kiss. What a character.....funny he said the same of me.

Two weeks later I was gimping around inside and thought I would go outside to meditate. Little did I know that the patio was going to pull me down to flat on my stomache again. Oh crap on a crutch. Yes, we did have to call AFD. I didn't see them come through the sliding glass door and started to say something and my kiss blowing friend said, "well Linda, we meet again on a Tuesday morning." Oh stars. They are so entertaining and helpful. Didn't take nearly as long to get me up. And I had used the walker outside so there it was. But this time, since I had become a member of the frequent flyer (should be faller), club, they had to take my vitals. Blood pressure 109 over 62. And my blood sugar was 69. Ding, ding, ding, They solved the mystery of the falling Oma at 2909. So the Captain of this merry band of men told me that now that I realized I had low blood pressure and needed to eat breakfast in order not to be a frequent flyer. I needed to see my doctor.

I promised I would see my new doctor this week, Speaking of character, she looks a little like Rita Morano and we hit it off immediately. She listened, she talked, we plotted a new way for me to be good to myself. I already went to do the labs and set up the other appointments. I scored big time with this woman. She is a kick and told me I was a goody and she was gonna help me. I believe her.

But the best happening this week was the phone call I got telling me that my beautiful granddaughter wanted to parlay and put the past in the past. We got in the car immediately and drove 35 minutes to Shelley's house. We just all cried for awhile and laughed the rest of the 3 hours I got to spend with them. I feel like this is what was making me so dull, low spirited and numb.  Thank all of you lovelies who prayed and worried about me. 

Next, I called the firehouse on Tuesday and let the shorter cuter, who is Mr. March on last year's Firehouse Hottiest calendar. When he answered the call, I said that we had canceled the bob for the olde lady at my house this Tuesday. He said, "did you realize you didn't even say who you were but how could I not know who it was our Tuesday morning pickup," Gotta love a great looking man with a sense of humor.

I love you all so much and that is my last blessing for this post. 

Smooches and squoozes, my lovelies,

Oma Linda

I promised rainbows and unicorns but......the package never arrived

I have been fine. But just fine. I can't seem to reach happy or look forward to anything. My health has deteriorated along with my mood. Go figure.

I told you about my awful, terrible, horrible experience on my daughter's birthday at her house. Let me back that up with telling those who don't know my Oma story. Shelley came home in 1999 to have her first baby. GK arrived in May 2000. She then married the baby's daddy in 2003. They all lived with us at our old house until Sweet Man and I moved in with my father because we were afraid he would burn his house down. Seemed like the thing to do.

The three of them lived in our house until "he who lost all rights to being called anything except it", decided he needed to go back to South Carolina "where folks know how to treat each other and you don't have to deal with as many Mexicans. I should mention now he meant me, 1/2 hispanic, 1/2 southerner, 1/2 nice person, 3/4 not nice when I am blamed for something I had nothing to do with except when I caught him in so many lies and pointed them out to him. Oops my bad. So right after GK's birthday in May of 2007, they moved to SC. Shelley and both kids GK and Ry who was born in 2004 moved back there. Then they asked to move home in 2009 because he proved to be exactly what he was.

Anyway, for the next 10 years they lived with us. I got to do the best job in the world with, for and about my grands and I was in high corn, as they say. I loved every moment of Oma time I had. Then Shelley found the man of all of our dreams Brian. He is a dear man and Sweet Man and I love him very much. And she moved out to a brand new house, new marriage, new town (only about 35 minutes away) and I was having a new opportunity to do some longish distance grandparenting.....or so I thought.

Now Ry has consistently been the same, Except for the fact he is over 6 ft now but just as loving as ever. GK on the other hand has been wounded by the last few years, including a diagnosis of bipolar. I have told you before that if she had not been diagnosed I would not have questioned my own actions throughout the years and realize that I needed meds too. I was so happy to have some help settling my brain. It's an ongoing job but I'm much more level if that helps explain it. But, I've lost my granddaughter to: it's a multiple choice answer, who I thought was always going to be the crazy bread on either side in the sceptic sandwich that are the three of us, me, Shelley and my soulsister GK.

I missed Shelley when she went away to college, to work in Mississippi and when they all moved to SC so much I hurt. But this is even worse.

I know I must be patient, kind and wait.

I know I will always love her fiercely.

But part of me knows that what I should be doing is just let her fly away as that appears to be what she wants me to do.

I have hated the first part of May most of my life. My Mom's birthday and Mothers Day are always within a week to 10 days apart. Never could please Frances. She was a hard woman. But then when GK was born on Cinco de Mayo, I had a reason for 20 years to celebrate.....this year when she is turning 21, not so much.

I don't want any sorrys or platitudes cuz I do know all of you care. I want each one of you on "May the 4th be with you" to send prayers, thoughts, spells, wishes to GK on her 21st on the 5th, so that she may find her way safely through this time in her life.

Lovelies I knew I could count on each of you. You know how much I love her.

Smooches and Squoozes, Linda

Realizing I don't belong

I've shared with all of you that I am manic depressive and bipolar. I've known since I was a youngster that I didn't think like other kids. I always thought that was a bad thing and in college after a rather severe head injury, I lost my ability to think abstract thoughts as rapidly as I did before. When I married Joe, I knew I was smart but not the way I expected to be by age 25. When Shelley my daughter had her first child, I found a purpose, a place I belonged. Intellectually I was stimulated by the needs of my grands. I invented, pretended, played and joined them in their childhoods. I became more able to fiqure things out and felt smarter for having been their Oma.

A little over 2 years ago, my daughter married a wonderful man and moved to a new home. At the time, I realized that I was to find a new job. A new way of thinking, being, doing. It was hard to move on without my grands. So I made it my job to find new ways of being so that I could remain in their lives. But as much as I tried, I wasn't needed anymore. No longer was required. I lost my job as an Oma.

Well, yes reader, I did know they would grow up and I would be less involved but 3 weeks ago, I was fired again and I didn't behave very well. I was hurt, felt betrayed and lost. And because GK misunderstood my intention, Shelley's family no longer is my extended family. GK got hurt when I said "I missed her so much". I know because I voiced my truth that I caused my granddaughter to feel guilty. That wasn't my intention....and yes I realize that doesn't count when I hurt her.

After feeling sorry for myself and being ugly. I realize that I needed to make amends but I can't. I have been blocked from saying anything to both the grands because it will cause more problems and I can't call, text, mail or communicate at all.

Besides feeling rejected, guilty and hurt. I am now to find a way to live as though they never happened, for their sake. Just because I let them know I miss them? Just because I had a fit and GK heard me on a private call to her mom. I have nothing to be here for.......anymore.

Yes, Joe and I are trying to find a new paradigm......where do I go to find it or shop for that? Where do I find comfort? How am I to go forward knowing I hurt my soul mate. I always thought that GK and I were the crazy bread in the stubborn sandwich that was our family. Now, forgive the pun, I'm toast.

I promised that this would be lighter than the last post but I guess I lied. Nothing is real, matters or will help the ache in my soul. 

Joe and I will keep on keeping on until we find the place we can begin again sans what used to be.

I have two dear friends who are living through this as well. If it weren't for their wisdom from having been there and still are.....I would be totally without a tether right now. I need new meds, new focusing and new self healing plans, 

I enrolled for the Masterclasses and will attend some classes here in Burque and hope it distracts me from what I view as absolute hell. 

Prayers, good thoughts and any wisdom you might have for me would be welcome. 

Smooches and Squoozes, Grandmaster screw up, Linda

Healing. Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit, good luck to us all March 1, 2021

It's been such a long time since I've shared my thoughts and hopes with all of you. That was because I had no idea how to convey what was in my heart and head. It's been a few years since I have really felt like myself......or what I perceived myself to be......or longed to be. I have been serving other masters new and old, other agenda, other peoples needs and when that ended......I was lost. When Shelley and grands moved out, I couldn't find my sea legs. I had been school bus driver, snack maker, confidant, mediator, and all around Oma. 

I took a class that a dear friend invited me to take. It was a very interesting look into 'snot only runes but also "our feelings" in connection with those thoughts. The past, the future, the now were all touched upon with the aid of the runes. The participants were to share. I sat back and watched others hoping I would have a clue as to how, what and how in depth I should go with my answers. 

Funny thing happened, my heart shoved my head outta the way and I ended up saying things that I hadn't thought of in years. It was bizarre and completely disarming. At the next to last session we were to list the things that we wished for from a list of things that "troubled" us or called to us. My list included things I had put away to make room for what life duties had for me to do and how I would like to recapture some of those endeavors again. Then we needed to list the reasons why we felt we needed or wanted them. It felt selfish, ego centered and foreign. At the end of my presentation the instructor who has to be one of the kindest, feeling, genuine people I have ever encountered said the word "Deserved" is one of the words I needed to include in my list and I just lost it. I couldn't even bring myself to attend the last class. It really flipped me out.

Derserved??? Even typing it now gives me the shakes and my stomach knots up. I have never felt that I deserved many good things in my life and the bad things that came to me, oh those I deserved for sure because my parents did a bang up job of giving me huge amounts of guilt about not being deserving. It was then that I shut down again. 

But within a couple of weeks I started seeing how my inability to feel like I deserved things I wanted, started to percolate and formulating in my heart and I began chaffing under the controls that I had allowed to override me and allowed everyone and everything elses needs should come first. I had confused being kind to someone else before making sure I had enough self love to really give some away. 

You all probably know that I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Dr. prescribed me some "get better meds" but I was still fighting a life long battle with little or no self confidence about my importance in my own life. You also know that both of my girls also have the gene that allows us to go to the dark side with or without company. At this juncture I am apart from both of them. It is my choice.

I went to my daughters 50 birthday party, saw my granddaughter and squeezed her very tightly and whispered to her, "I've missed you so much". She acted like I had shot her and all evening she looked at me as though I had spit on her or asked her to commit some horrible crime. That night I came home hurt, angry, crying hysterically and wounded. I bitched about it for days. Then the strangest thing happened.

I was visiting with my dear friend and she was going to see her friend, the teacher of the class, after we finished our "chin wagging" visit. At the mention of this lovely person's name I had an instant flash. I said something that triggered GK, I don't think I will ever be able to find out for sure but I feel that because she hadn't visited when she said she would, I unintentionally  made her feel "less than".

I will forever be sad that I did, but I can't fix what's wrong with us alone. I can't make my daughter not be resentful of my actions. And I can't continue to feel guilty about my lack of being a perfect or suitable person in their lives to go back and take the behaviors that I have ignored but not forgiven from our interactions with one another. I have put my foot down about that and will not be maligned when I use the wrong words, or feel disappointed when they don't even show up when they say they will come to visit, not keep their stories straight about life and expect me to keep tap dancing when the music is obviously a tango. I know it will be a fair amount of time until I have gotten my inadequacies in check. And I hope this time apart will allow all of us to reflect and use the time to heal.

But I do realize, I deserve to be treated with respect, love and honored for being a grown ass adult with feelings and desires of my own that should be given credence freely, happily and in real time. I too know that I must change my behaviors with my girls so that I do not hurt them again. 

Joe and I counted how many times in a normal conversation with each other that I say, "I'm sorry".  Would you believe 21? There is no one that needs to feel that is their position to live in......the sorry lane?????

I know it is harsh to say so but.................someone told me I deserve peace and she doesn't even really know me. I have folks who like me for me. 

New thoughts, new hopes, new beginnings and some fall out to manage but I will endeavor to perservere to remain strong in my new head space??????

Thanks for reading. I can absolutely guarantee that next blog will be about happier things happening for Joe and I.

Blessings, Linda

a quote from Monty Python, "I'm not dead, yet".

Wow, 2020 has turned out to be like an episode of the Twilight Zone, with more twists than plot.

I've been scared, mad, hurt, disappointed, blessed, fulfilled, lonely, overwhelmed, busy, lazy, worn out, and that is how the see saw tips. I'm generally a hermit so the shelter in place has been a breeze.....uh, until it wasn't. Just like all the rest of you, I missed my family. We have attempted to visit and still be safe. At first doing drive by's for a short visit, then meeting somewhere and visit from our cars (more than 6 feet apart) and eventually we cheated and visited face to face. That has to change again because Corona Virus is making a comeback in NM too.

Our governor has been a rock star caretaker of all of the citizens of NM, but there are so many gathering in opposition to her orders (us included) and so many shopping when it isn't essential. There is nothing I need that badly. I have only been inside a store (health food store) once since the shut down. Worn a mask everytime I leave the house. But it's not enough.

Joe stayed home all of March, April and May. He travels the state (New Mexico) and it became evident that he would be required by his company to return to take care of his customers. During the shut down, he got so creative, I am so proud of him. He sold more online and on the phone than he had in the months leading up to the shut down. His company had him give a pep talk to the other outside sales people because he did 200% of his quota and needless to say, that's a big deal. So cool.

My lovely daughter Shelley, has gone to work, on the computer, for a mortgage company. Loves it. My "grand and glorious" son in law got a new job and he also is loving it. My youngest granddaughter Sydney will be getting her drivers license this week, my almost 6 ft tall grandson Ry has done really well on the Zoom school thing and is even more involved with his electronics, my soulmate grandchild GereaKaye is like her Oma, in that she has come up against the mental health wall and is finding her way in a neural typical world with new skills and new mental health protocols. Yay for help.

And here is the part where I say to you my lovelies......I confess to being a craft and fabric aholic. I have been sewing again, masks, market bags, curtains from strips of fabric and sari material....always the hippie. But I need to devest myself of said hoarder stash. So I am sending these items to others. Selling some, giving most away. But before I do, I will use the Halloween fabric for masks. If you would like a masks for Halloween, just let me know in the comments and I will be happy to get one to you. Since only friends can see this and I have most of your addresses.....let me know.

I've missed blogging. I hope you will comment and let me know if you have seen this.

Smooches and squoozes,
Love to you all, Oma Linda

this olde bagg is 70 and loving it

Hello Lovelies.

Yours truly turned 70 on Tuesday this week. Honestly, this age suits me. I'm happier than I have ever been.

not mine but it sure looks yummy

Thank you to all who kindly wished me a good one. I must say that your wishes came to fruition. I had a blast with my grands surprising me with flowers and jelly beans of many colors and flavors (no earwax flavored though). It's always a delight to see them and this was no exception. My lovely daughter and her darling husband gifted me daffodils and a bright red glider to use while I watch my turtle babies on the backporch. And Sweet Man took me out to dinner at Pappadeux. The seafood platter with fried catfish (it tasted just like when I was a kiddo), but I think the lobster bisque was to die for.

I took myself to the junk store to shop for my birthday gift and found many glass items and metal "clankety clanks" for yard art. I will be busy with creating fun stuff for many moons to come. I'm so excited. My Sweet Man said that this couldn't be my present alone, so he has a new computer on the way. I really need one, this one has been repaired twice, had a new on/off switch put in and is begining to act up. So yay.

Now for my rant. If you have followed my adventure with my grands then you know they left my care for almost 3 years and moved to South Carolina. When GK visited us for the summers of those years, it came to my attention that she was uncomfortable (terrorized) with the thought that she would have to return to SC. She didn't relate all the graphic details at the time but her physicality and emotionality all pointed to sexual and mental abuse. Now 10 years later, both of the grands have related their abuse, at the hands of their father and grandfather, on several ocassions to many therapists and counselors as well as us.

Shortly after the time of their return to us in 2009 charges were brought against the grandfather. But he has very many "good old boy" friends in the sheriff's department and the paperwork always got lost. So to say that even though I try to practice a regime of forgiveness and love I have not forgiven either one of these men.

Grandfather is in end stage in the hospital in Columbia.

Should I be sad? Should I have compassion?

I still haven't worked out how I feel. I have held such anger for the abusers of my grands for more than a decade. I have envisioned both of this horrible human beings in agony, hell, something terrible for so long. I should let it go for me.......but honestly I have been vacillating between planning a party (ding dong the bastard's dead) and trying to make peace with the universe. But the bottom line is he (grandfather) is the one that will have to come to judgement, it's not my job to do so.

So there. If I've offended, I beg your pardon.

Smooches and squoozes,
Oma Linda

Happy 2019......Casa de Cuckoo style............

Hi all.

Hope you are all doing well. Joe and I are doing well. Actually, we are doing better than that. Much better.

I don't know about you but the Christmas holidays always mess with my sense of time. It's like we go into a vortex and I couldn't have told you one day from another for the whole 2.5 weeks of celebration. Joe was home most of the time. We had a pretty significant snow storm (for Metro Albuquerque) and it really wasn't worth his time and energy to get out so..........we watched lots of TV series and movies. Had more quiet time with each other than we had for some time.

It was a very different Christmas for us. Just reminding all of you that Shelley and the kiddos came to live with us 9 years ago. We expected that they would be with us for maybe 6 months. I am so glad that we had those 9 years with my darlings. Joe and I miss them very much but are so delighted that they have a new home, a great relationship with Brian (sil) and have the opportunity for Joe and I to recapture who we are together. But Christmas, well we had Christmas Eve snacks here with 5 of the 6 Carlisle's and went to Shelley and Brian's for lunch the next day. A new normal I think.

I don't make resolutions for the new year. I've lived long enough and know myself well enough to know I'd screw up by Jan. 4. But, I have made some plans.

1st, after being away from all things creative and fun for the last few years.....................I'm getting my groove back. As a matter of fact, Shelley and I finalized our new business venture plans this very morning. We are looking forward to a partnership and shared time together. We will be including Shelley's bff Quino in our new venture, he is so talented and knowledgeable in his artistry. I'm not gonna jinx anything by telling you all the details now but rest assured that I will soon.

2nd, I am giving myself permission to ask for help. That's huge for me. In the past, I felt that I was imposing on others to ask them to make it possible for me to achieve what I desired. I no longer feel that way. We all deserve to be honored, respected and nurtured. Better late than never at age 70. I've held myself apart from what is joy inducing for too long.

Bliss here I come.

Be well, take care of yourself, giggle every day and know that you are loved by this Olde Bagg.

Smooches and Squoozes, Oma Linda

I've been on the back burner....simmering for quite a few years

If you came for one of my regular silly or boastful about the grands post, ya might want to hold off readying this one. It ain't pretty. Good ending, horrible middle.

If I don't write this down today, at this moment, I know that I will chicken out and not let go of this horror. completely. One of my therapist from long, long ago would say "let it out and run like hell so it won't catch up with you". I can't run. Not anymore.

Someone who is very close to our family was molested by a classmate not long ago. When I heard about it, my first reaction, of course, was to be angry. Then I wanted to know the situation. Then I started feeling sick to my stomach. A bit of an overreaction to what has become too common place in our country.

Honestly at my age, you'd think I'd be able to pick up on cues from my body when life gets to be too much, but I am unaware of things until it is too late to stop and pause. So I was physically ill for this dear sole and her situation started to work it's way into my thoughts and with it brought memories.

First in my dozing time before sleep, then in my alone time trying to calm myself from the storms of the day and finally as I waited for Shelley to arrive so that we could visit and do some moving of the junk I hold dear during the past two weeks.

So much so, that it became impossible to hold in my hurt and anger from my own molestation ridden past and I broke down in front of one of 4 people I swore I would never burden with my "story". My beautiful, caring, nurturing daughter. Who after today will for ever be my hero.

The straw that broke the camel's back was this latest allegation of sexual impropriety in the news concerning the candidate for supreme court. My Sweet Man were watching the news this morning when he made a comment about the story and I took offense at my perception of his cavalier attitude and came un fricken glued all over him. As I'm fussing at him, even I was wondering why I was so upset, I was shaking, sweating, got a little blind and almost passed out. Sweet Man and I worked it out and I awaited Shelley's arrival. But holy cow, I hear stuff like this every day, why did it upset me so this morning?

I certainly had no intention of ever telling anyone about my reoccurring abuse from someone she knew when she was a youngster. This person came into my life in college, made a revisit in my mid twenties and came back in my late thirties. I had stuffed that bit of information in my "never tell anyone what happened file" because I had been fearful that the abuser could make good on his threats and would come after my family because he already made good on this threat. So much so that it ultimately cost me a good paying job years ago.

But all of my emotions, physical reaction and my lack of being able to stuff the horror away again brought me to a place that I'm sure every person in the "Me too" movement and many, many more feel each time they are confronted with the pain that comes from hearing that this plague just keeps on infecting woman and men no matter what. So I let part of my history come out of me.

It scared me. It hurt me. It made me sob like I haven't in a very long time. BUT............

Sitting here 4 hours after telling my daughter what a horrible person I thought I was when she was so young and hear her say that I have always and will forever be her rock, her idol, her beloved Mother no matter what, gave me the courage to let her know all of the "ugly and horrible" truth of my history, I am calm for the first time. I do mean ever.

My abuse started when I was 5 or 6. My father was a monster but not the only one. In my life, I have been sexually abused by 9 persons. It's almost as though once you are wounded by sexual abuse, you are marked like a wounded animal in the midst of a gathering of lions. I felt that way each and every time one of my abusers attacked me. Powerless, small, vulnerable and an easy mark.

After today, since I spoke my truth for the first time in my adult life (I tried when I was a kid, but no one heard and I internalized that lesson for the remaining 6 decades), I feel better. I never wanted to enumerate my pain. I never wanted to burden my child with my less that stellar past.....but her voice (a soothing mother to me, which I missed out on as a child) gave me.......a whole different life view.

I'm a good person with flaws, hurts, pain and issues because I never got this ugly out of me so I could heal. Today is the first day of truth on the outside not killing me from the inside.

I can heal now.

I can forgive myself for my mistreatment of  me.

I can .................I hope that my old ways will not limit my can into a corner again.


Thanks for reading.

Smooches and Squoozes,
Oma Linda

shame on ya blogger.................

Hope your September started on a great note for each of you.

Let me tell you......I thought none of you loved me anymore cuz, I didn't get any comments on my last post. Oops, blogger tricked me again. I'm gonna have to see about changing whatever it is that doesn't allow me to see comments for such a long period of time.

So to the other side of this issue, I still love you all lovelies and thank you for the well wishes for getting over (er, down the lane) with my Cuckoos having flown the nest.

So here's the latest maniac inducing deal with the house......

The cat's lost their minds (all except mine and she's feral so no counting her in on this song and dance) because they were so very upset at being left by their humans and really messed up the carpets and the old mattresses we hadn't gotten out to the street to large item pick up yet. I thought that I was keeping them entertained enough but I guess they decided to show Shelley and the kids that the things they left behind and the carpet in their rooms would be marked. But Joe and I were the ones that got penalized. YUK.

Good thing I was going to put new flooring in the three bedrooms anyway. Just hadn't planned on immediately.

The dogs thought the cats weren't doing a good enough job so they "pitched in". I swear, I've had animals treat me differently upon arriving home from a trip, but never like these baddies. Sheesh.

The dogs are going to Shelley's this weekend and the two cats will be following in the next two weeks. First will be Chandler, then Uma. We figure if B's dogs can handle Chandler the humongous critter cat, then they will leave Uma alone when she moves in. The animals will need to be incorporated with Brian's two dogs. But by then, it's no longer my circus nor my monkeys. And that will leave me with the olde lady cat and my black monster.

Now on to the good part. Because the carpets have to be replaced, Sweet Man wanted to paint all three rooms while we didn't have to worry about dripping on the carpet. We picked out a lovely color for the walls. It is a very soft, warm grey. The Sherwin William name is "on the rocks". We painted Sat and Sun and took Monday off for our very own "good behavior".

The carpet we picked out is "Instant Magic" and the color way is "Charm". I didn't even know the name of the carpet until we were paying for the install. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm...now this is a positive sign.

I found all manner of goodies at the junk store today. 3 lamps to update and put back into the "lamp work force", a gorgeous pressed glass bohemian candle light box, a silver pomander and tray, a large red mosaic vase and a  really sweet salt clay wreath with acorns, oak leaves and some bright orange accents (very 70's). I was hoping to have photos for you but between the time I got home, did my "pick and put away" work, fixing dinner and then sit down and blog............it's raining like crazy. And we all know I'm so sweet that there wouldn't even be a any part of Oma Linda left in this pouring rain. wink...wink

Next time I'll have photos.

 I'm living the dream now people Or at least I'm now dreaming. I go to sleep at night imagining how my new studio, storage room and Joe's office will look with all our "been sleeping in the garage" furnishings and stuff.

We are having a new washer delivered Saturday (I'll tell ya next time), the carpet is being installed Tuesday and on Wednesday we're having new garage door openers installed. I'm hoping that these are the last expenditures of any large amount that we will incur for the rest of 2018. Finger crossed.

Smooches and Squoozes,
Oma Linda

It's starting to echo in here............

Thought I'd let you in on what's going on with the exodus from Casa de Cuckoo.

Officially the move out was two weeks ago. That's the day when Brian and Shelley brought a washer and a refrigerator from the new house here because both of mine.......gave evidence that they too were going to be leaving Casa de Cuckoo.

They also drove a u-haul and helpers came and everyone loaded tons of things into said vehicles and departed. It was an all day fun fest....uh well maybe not that but the majority of the grands belongings went to live out west of here in the fast growing community of Rio Rancho.

Joe and I were tired and we hadn't really worked all that hard. Good thing everyone else was younger and could survive all the sweat and heat. Did I forget to mention that it was 105 degrees, just in honor of the move and all the effort being expended?

We looked around that day and realized that not all of their stuff had gone out the doors. It has taken loads of stuff in their cars everytime they come by here. Shelley stops on her way home. RyLeigh spent last Tuesday with me helping me weed, etc. GK came by on her way to the mall on afternoon. So yes, they have been here, but I'm not the main attraction. The cats and dogs are.

The 4 cats and 2 dogs have stayed on with us because Brian's girls have dogs. Everyone wants to have most of the boxes and mess cleared up before introducing the new animals to their dogs. Also there will need to be some new procedures to make sure everyone is safe when the humans leave the new house. So for the time being....probably at least another month, the animals are here with us missing their humans and their humans are there wanting to include said animals. Out of all the animals trying to get used to the emptiness of what used to be their places to sleep and hang out with Shelley and the grands, my Niamh is the most put out. She doesn't like to share me with anyone, or anything.....and now she has to share me with all.

Niamh is in a snit, Uma, GK's cat has turned into a recluse, Fatticakes (Shelley's cat) is trying to boss all of us around and Chandler (Ry's huge, sweet cat) is running from all of them. Jameson and Ellie Mae, the dogs are doing real well with the change, until the grands or Shelley come and then it takes them awhile afterwards to calm down. I feel so sorry for the beasties. They really are confused. It will get better and they will be fine.

So we're left with the change over to our office, studio and guest room make overs from 3 bedrooms. It is going to take some planning and man power to redo these rooms. It will also be fun. I'm going to do the guest bedroom in a bohemian style. I have Guatemalan fabric for the bedspread, rag torn curtains and some furniture that I am going to repurpose and paint some pieces much like the middle photo I found on Pinterest.

The office will just be us moving our bookcases from the living room and moving our desks back in their. We will be able to close up our "messes" and have a clean living room then (ha). The living room furniture will be able to spread out a little more and I've got some matting of family photos to get done for the wall of "sweet faces".

The studio will come back to being where it was when the kids moved in. The middle bedroom will be more of a storage area for my "arting supplies" that have been scattered to the garage as well as many cabinets and corners of rooms for at least 7 of the last nine years, since Ry got his own room then and my studio "floated" until now.

It will be a real treat to be able to go to one location to get paint, beads, paper, fabric, machines, brushes, and my mind. Nah, my mind will always be clutters and scattered. tee hee

So there we have it. About 3 more carloads of things hanging around here that need to be there and we'll start the demolition derby with rugs and paint. Whew.

We have come full circle...............

It will be the Cuckoos 9th anniversary of having arrived back here in Albuquerque in just a few days. GereaKaye was already here with us having spent a month for the second year in a row. Shelley and RyLeigh (who was a completely different child back then) drove all the way from South Carolina to come back in a U-haul with all she could fit in it and begin again.

Tonight is the last night of the Cuckoos reign en masse here. Our last "good night" hugs in person. Saturday, Brian is coming here with a U-haul and they will take their "stuff" and begin again in Rio Rancho. I am so happy for all of them. Their new do over is going to be wonderful for all of us. (I just keep saying it out loud, so it will be true).

So much has happened in the last few months for all of us. It has been a whirlwind of change and it will take us all awhile to get into the new routine. In the meantime, we'll just continue being who we are.....a family who loves each other fiercely.

It's almost surreal to watch the grands pack up their childhoods and move on into being a new family unit with Brian and his girls. Shelley and I are having a bit of time, thinking about being apart from each other. We have such a special relationship. And the grands keep reassuring me (and themselves) of how "they will get back on this side of the river more often than we can even know". I know it's true and I have the assurance in knowing we will see each other all the time.

My house will go through a change as well. Rooms repurposed, some back the way it was pre-Cuckoo, others will remain empty for a time. The garage may just be able to be used for projects, not a storage shed. There are so many possibilities. But who will I wrangle into forced fun to clean all this mess out? No more slave power here, just us old rusty hen and rooster to do the work. It may take us longer without the grands and Shelley, but we'll get it done eventually.

The first room to be put back to former times will be the office for Joe and me. Then it is my hope to reclaim the middle bedroom as a studio. Who knows, I might even "art" again.

Don't mean to be morose, have lots to be thankful for and I am. I also have been so immersed in the growing up of my grands and it's gonna take a bit for me to find the pre-Cuckoo Linda who has been very busy for the last 9 years sharing life with the most wonderful, loud, funny, happy grands and their Mom, my best friend and daughter.

Honestly, I am smiling with tears running down my cheeks. I am proud and happy for them and Joe and me.

Smooches and Squoozes, Oma Linda

What's your passion?

It has always been and will always be my family. Joe, my husband of 47 years come this November is the rock on which we are all anchored. Shelley my daughter, with whom I have shared all of my life that is important or relevant is the prize I was given. And then of course my heart and my soul.....my grands. GereaKaye is my soul sister, her brother Ry is my birthday twin and my heart and both are the reward of sharing everything imaginable.

This passion has brought me love, tears, pride, fear and all the other emotions most Grandmothers, Mothers and Wives feel.

However they have been my lifeboat literally. My passion is also my saving grace.

When I think of the family I came from, I now know that I sought to craft my loved ones into my armor. These four humans have been the product of that crafting. Whether it be from witchy ways, shared "spit and vinegar", loving with compassion and toughness or just "forced fun", we are and will always be the Cuckoos.

The only fly in my ointment is that I am dependent on my loves. My passion is also my biggest downfall. I have for the last 9 years devoted myself to their needs, wants, desires, heart aches, accomplishments, surprises and lives to the exclusion of me sometimes. Our Cuckoos nest will be minus the youngers and the olde birds will be left with creating our own new normal.

So right at the moment, my passion is tearing at my heart with every box packed, every item donated to elsewhere, every moment that marches us to the time of parting when the Cuckoos who came to stay for 6 months, nine years ago.

I ache, I cry, I hope, I smile.........we'll all look back at this with different colored memories.

Passion is holding on to each other and finding new ways to make it happen in the future. The close, cozy, safe, familiar will wear new clothes and we'll make it work.

But in the meantime, Oma is holding on to whatever I can get.....like the life raft I have been in called  "passion".

More's the pity...........but I'm still smiling

Until recently, I wasn't sure I actually had a firm grasp of what that phrase means. I am now sure.
It means.....it is sad; it is a great pity or shame.
This is exactly how I feel about my recent floor activities, ie, falling down and going boom. Yep, it happened again. CRAP. I was just getting some better from my last failed Ice Capades crash when swoosh, the floor and I once again had a meeting.

I have to tell you that since my knee surgery (complete replacement on the right) in 2009, the floor and I have had very few meetings. I was told that I should avoid stressing my new bionic knee that way. I also need to remind you that at one point in my menopausal past, that Meniere's (an autoimmune deficiency caused imbalance in the inner ear, thanks Mom for all those trips to the Dr. on whom you had a huge crush when I was a kid, for a shot of penicillin) caused me to fall down at least 3 times a week for several months until we figured out what was causing my trips (pun) to the floor. So you see, been there, done that, shouldn't be doing it now. 

I fell going from the back porch, through the dining room, to the front porch. I had a bit of slippage issue, as in my left foot kept going while the rest of me was on the rug. When I felt the splits coming I caved and fell. Damn tile. Slip and slide right into the china cabinet in which I keep all my glassware. As I was sliding down the knobs on the front of the cabinet, the only thought I had was.......oh, hell's bells, there goes all of my cobalt glass and I bet I get cut really badly. Luckily my ability as a prognosticator sucks as badly as my balance. No breaks, no cuts. Only a long ugly bruise on my spine from my bra strap level to my tail bone. Actually it happened in reverse of that. 

nope not mine, got this from google but nice range of color, eh?

So as my hubby likes to tell it.....I wasn't satisfied with a circular bruise around my left boob and running along my rib cage, from the Elephant ear pot I fell into the first time and had to "paint" my back the same ugly color of purplish black, magenta, green, gold and turned into  dark skin where the bruise used to be.

Went to see the Chiropractor today. He said I am grounded (another nasty play on words) from participating in anymore demolition derby events. He moved "things" back into their correct positions and sent me on my way for an afternoon of icy fun (ice packs), Arnica massage and licking my wounds.

Guess what I am getting for myself as a right of passage into a "human crash dummy" model phase of my life? Yep, on of those Olde Lady buttons on a lanyard, so I can at least have some help getting my old buttcheeks off of the the floor (who says I don't have a good plan to see hunky firemen). Yes, it is demeaning on one level, but the semi intelligent part of my personality is telling me, it's time. Besides, I hear you can bedazzle the hell outta those puppies.

I think I'll choose silver

Smooches and Squoozes, Oma Linda (in technicolor)

What's been happening here at Casa de Cuckoo...............

Background for the Background would be redundant but I think it is appropriate in this post.

Several years ago, I had, what I now know was a nervous breakdown. That was one of the reasons that I quit having fun on my blog, being a good friend to many of you, being good to myself and just generally being a bit of an old poop. I didn't think I deserved to be part of anything outside of the bare minimum here at home. Some days it was too much to even be a good Oma, fix dinner, clean the house, or do any "arting" at all. It was a very dry, lonely, self imposed prison sentence.

No surprise, during this depression, I developed real and some not real health issues. I gained weight, my blood pressure increased, I thought I would pass away soon and this was the darkest period of my life.

All that is in the past, I am, because of some wisdom that came into my life just in the nick of time, on a different path. I see hope, I feel valid, I can once again be a part of the life that occurs around me.

In the past 5 days a huge change has happened in my physicality. I'm on a very strict food regime for anti swelling. It is very much like the gout cleanse diet. No beef, organ meat, oatmeal, fried food, fish, shellfish, alcohol, caffeine, limited salt and sugar, or carbonated drinks. My feet have begun to shrink (like crazy) and the pain is so much less. Tart cherry juice, celery seed pills and a prescription have all made this possible. Things is lookin' up, ya'll. My fibro pain has also decreased.

My family has, as always, been super supportive, caring and during that time, they learned not to push me and to be gentle with me. I know that it all was very hard for all of them. They were rock stars, especially the grands. They picked up the slack, babysat me when I was very, very low and kept my sense of humor in tact. Both of those youngun's are going to be amazing grown ups.

So now the new/old me is looking for trouble to get into again. I've been working on my gardens, decorating the outdoor spaces and making a macrame art piece for the front patio, which I will post photos of soonest. I have also been working on gypsy curtains for the dining room. Lots of lace, crochet pieces and vintage napkins, dresser scarves and other cutwork are all being combined to make these curtains. Damn Pinterest and all the ideas I have gotten from that site.

The grands and Shelley are on vacation with Brian and his girls in Oklahoma and Texas. They went rafting, visited with his extended family and the Cuckoos got to meet Brian's parents in Oklahoma and then they will go on to Dallas to attend Warped Tour, go to a water park or amusement park of their choosing and then come home to packing and moving into their new (spectacular) home.



I'm tired for them. Good thing they are all young, healthy and crazy.

So there is the background for the new craziness I hope to perpetrate here on Blogger (thanks Ms. M). I'm tired of not staying in touch with all of you and sharing some fun. Let me know how you are doing. I miss you very much.

Smooches and Squoozes,
Oma Linda

With a little encouragement......I'm back

You can thank Shelle Kennedy (Sunshineshelle) for my return. She made me cry a lot and feel empowered mucho, when she said that she enjoyed my posts which were a little like a day in the life kinda thingie. I guess I felt a little like Sally Fields, "you like me, you really like me". And I love you right back.

Some of my best days have been when I was writing posts about "one of everything", hosting an Oz kinda party or boring you all with my silly adventures with my darling grands. Some of my worst days were made better by just knowing you lovelies were out there rooting for each other and also me. I lost track of that feeling. Sorry, oops.

You have all seen me through the gambit of emotions, situations and moments in the past and I've missed sharing with all of you. I got lazy, depressed, ground down by life and just quit. Shame on my name! I still have so much to share and just figured that particular bit out lately.

So I shall, in small doses, catch you up on the craziness of Casa de Cuckoo. We cuckoos are all the same, only a year older, several life times smarter and have lived some interesting moments and experienced change. Change is the only constant in life and I should have that tattooed on the inside of my eyelids. Or maybe record it and let it play on a loop to remind me, all is well with my soul.

I'll start with the newest stuff and work my way backwards, forwards and 'whateverwards'.

Joe, my darling Sweet Man, is still working. Albeit a new/old job. He travels the state, comes home every night and is much happier than when he tried to retire last year. He got bored before the first week was over. Like all men, cough, cough, he then began to tell me how I could do things here at the Casa. Yep, that didn't workout so well and he joined the gym, had lunch with friends, sorta worked at cleaning up his area of the garage for another week and then announced that he had gotten another job, selling and traveling. What a guy. Gotta love him, and I do.

Shelley is still working in mortgage. But there's so much that has changed in her life. She had almost given up dating all together when last August 5th she had a date with a nice guy. Now that may not sound like much but it was beginning of the "greatest adventure of all" (using a quote from Up the movie because they are like Carl and Ellie). She found her soulmate Brian. They got engaged in February and are hoping to pull off a wedding as close to August 5th as possible. Whirlwind is an understatement.

Brian has two daughters, Sierra, 17 and Sydney 15. That means 4 teenagers in the new blended family. GereaKaye is 18, RyLeigh is 14. Brian and Shelley are in for a "very big adventure" with these craZy four younguns. The kids get along great. They even like each other (for reals). So much so, that overnights for the kids happen often, as do going to the movies, out to eat and just hanging out together without the adults. The noise level multiplies by a bazillion when they are all together. Never quiet, I'll tell ya.

Ry and Sydney top row. Sierra and GereaKaye bottom row. This photo was taken at Ry's and my birthday dinner.

Then "Brielley" (you know like blending Brian and Shelley?) went looking for a house in which to house said loudish family. They found a wonderful 4 bedroom in a gated community which had been on the market for only 10 days. They made an offer and bingo bango, they will move into said house in July, right after they get back from a vacation to TX and OKLA so Shelly and the grands can meet Brian's parents. Things just zip along at light speed.

Are you getting tired just reading about all the activity going on here?

Me too.

I am also having a issue with empty nest syndrome.  You remember 9 years ago when Shelley and the grands moved into our home for 6 months...............and have been here ever since? Me too and sometimes it seems like they have been here forever and now it's only a few weeks until they move.

It kinda scares me. Who knew I would be this attached to the 3 generation bundle of us?

More soon.

Smooches and Squoozes, Oma Linda

Don't lose your head

"But she just has to notice me", said the most unpleasant smelling, grungy looking troll that ever lived under Penscott bridge. The frog sitting in the bulrushes downstream of Brentrix just laughed and said, "don't lose your head over this one even if she is 'La Princessa', she's most certainly not your type and will break your heart".

This scenario played out at least 3 times a week for years for the love struck troll as he watched his lady fair approach the wooden bridge, which had been home to Brentrix for over a century. La Princessa had been fair of face at one time and most certainly still was as cold as ice. She was far more than haughty and had no time for commoners, much less a decrepit, old, wart infested wreck such as Brentrix who lived under the oldest bridge in her father's kingdom. She had even put to task a palace guard to accompany her on her walks to make sure that no one would bother or touch her as she went about her life in the "me, me, me zone".

La Princessa was so preoccupied thinking only of herself that she never even acknowledged the troll as he stood with his slimy green hand extended with gifts. Each time she passed him, he had something beautiful for her, albeit flowers, a collage of twigs and leaves or even a squishy soft pillow made from moss and bird down. The troll was lovesick and she was, well you get the picture. Her palace guard would always shout at the troll to step aside and push him out of the way.

Each time the troll was rejected, his stream mate the frog, tried to talk the lovesick troll into facing the reality of the situation, which was that, the love he sought would never be. Brentrix always sighed and stared into the sky seeing what only his lovesick heart let him see. Even after the hundreds of rejections, the tenacious troll kept watch daily, waiting for the object of his affection to use the bridge to get to the village down the lane. Poor dear, he just wouldn't hear the truth.

Brentrix had never been in love before or since. Oh, he had called on several female trolls through the years and even had a goblin interested in him in his youth but nothing serious ever came of any of these encounters. He had long ago given up thinking that he would, could or should be with anyone but 'La Princessa'.

His lack of physical beauty was made more clear to him when the water quality of the stream had improved and he actually saw his reflection in the water on a warm spring afternoon 19 years ago. Of course this shocking fact had set him back a little at the time but he had put it out of his thoughts. Either that or he never saw his ugliness as an obstacle.

Both the Princess and Brentrix had become more set in their ways as they aged. She wanted nothing to burst her bubble of self absorption and he wanted nothing more than for her to accept his love. Thus this situation escalated on a particularly lovely October afternoon.  Brentix had been down the lane where he purchased a small and sturdy green pumpkin. He felt sure that if he painted his image on the green pumpkin that 'La Princessa' would have to see how much he loved her and certainly fall in love with him. He worked all morning and created what he thought was a gift so unusual and striking that it most certainly would be accepted.

But heart motive was not enough to sway the 'La Princessa' or for that matter her guard who, just as Brentrix stepped forward to hand her the pumpkin, drew his sword and swiftly separated Brentrix from his head. The pumpkin fell with a plop as did the severed head of the troll.

The frog gasped and began to croak and moan. "Poor Brentrix, I warned him not to lose his head, but noooooooooooooo, he wouldn't listen". The frog hopped away in tears for the troll he had always loved, the Princess and her guard resumed their stroll to the village and the head of Brentrix slowly and unceremoniously rolled off the bridge and splashed into the stream.

This of course should be the end of this tale, but it is not.

Not long after the beheading, a fair maiden also traversed this woodland path. She happened upon the pumpkin and was delighted by what she saw. "I just love the wisdom and warmth in this face. I must take it with me and cherish it".

And so she did.

Moral of this story, well there is none.

Life sucks.
Sometimes you make a wrong move and lose your head.
But picking up a green pumpkin could be a good thing.
Then again what do we know.

GK and Brentrix

What's not to love?

*****We do in fact know that poor Brentrix had nothing to do with the wonderful pumpkin painting. That is the doing of GereaKaye my lovely and talented granddaughter who will next fall be traversing her own path to a degree in Art and Psychology.

We collaborated on this project for Magaly's October Heart Bits.  Wouldn't have missed this fun October playtime for anything. Thanks Ms. Magaly for the adventure.

Smooches and Squoozes, Oma Linda and the very talented GereaKaye

Were does the time go???????????

I swear yesterday was Christmas. Time just keeps whizzing past me at break neck speed. Time does, not me. I'm still turtling it here at Casa de Cuckoo. Speaking of which, I saw my first "baby" up on Tuesday last week. She (Beauty) came up from hibernation, fat (she was extra heavy this year) and ready for a drink and a snack. I gave her both and afterwards she climbed to the top of the yard, went to the fairy garden and proceeded to dig an egg hole under the lavender plant. She wasted no time in getting back into the swing of the back yard. Squeal, baby Beauty babies..........

The grands were off from school last week for spring break. We had a low keyed and fun staycation here at home. We didn't accomplish a whole lot. Put up a new tent awning in the backyard, mixed up some more soil for the bucket garden, talked about life, watched movies and just hung out.

My grands, because they have not been raised in a traditional "churchy" home have questions about other religions and customs. It is always my pleasure as a former Christian Educator to take the time to do comparative religions with them during spring break. In years past we have done Buddism, Taoism, Islam, and Native American traditions. This year was no exception. Both GereaKaye and Ry are pretty well versed in other religions and this year it was Christianity that we looked at. I know to those of you who have the knowledge of the Christian church this seems strange but to those who are not of that faith, some of the practices are noteworthy and puzzling to those who have never been "in" church. Take for example Ash Wednesday and the practice of wearing the ashes on the forehead. Ry said he thought that their mothers had smudged them for protection and then forgot to make sure to wipe it off. You see, pagan thought process.

It was fun. Loads of really great and deep questions. We watched Hair (did you ever know that it was a Christian based story of sacrifice and love?), Jesus Christ Superstar and The Last Temptation of Christ.

Ry wasn't really taken by Hair. Too many nekkid people. GK loved the hippiness of it and also the music. She was so aware of the theme of the musical that she is the first person who I know that got it the first time through. Just another thing that I love her for. She cried and laughed at the same time at the message. She was moved.

After watching JCS, GereaKaye called her best friend Stephen, who is a Christian and apologized to him for not taking his faith seriously. She said she had never known how sad Jesus' sacrifice was and how moving the Holy Week story really was. I was very proud of her for being able to do that. Sidenote....when she apologized, and explained to Stephen that she had watched JCS and was moved. He said that he had never heard of JCS before. When she asked if he would like to watch it with her so he could know about it, he declined saying he didn't think he should. Hmmmmmmmmm. See this is a problem for me. Close your mind to anything that is not approved by the "elders" in your church. Knowledge is there to be gleaned, processed, accessed and then either believed or rejected but not just thrown away......oh well. See what I get for believing in Science.

Ry and I had had an opportunity the week before Spring Break, while we waited for Gerea one afternoon, to go over the Holy Week story so he was ready for the movie. As a matter of fact he surprised me by being as interested in the movie as he was. Neither of them cared for The Last Temptation. They thought it was too "Hollywood". I can't help but laugh. None of the three movies would have past muster when I was working at the church. But for me, JCS has always been a favorite production, story and has a powerful effect on me. I could still be a closet Christian. I don't have a thing against God (or the rest of the deities) I just didn't get along with his children that thought the church was just for them and no one else.

Happy Spring my lovelies and if I have offended any of you, please forgive my candor. I am who I am.

xoxo Oma Linda

Garden and the weather.......................

The past couple of weeks have been so beautiful here in NM. Warm temps, breezy but not too terribly windy and I've spend many hours outside enjoying the plants, the birds (I already have hummers). The weather was great until last Thursday. I knew we were supposed to have a storm front blow through and expected a few things to blow around, but I didn't expect that it would be the tent awning we had just put on the back patio.

Shelley and the kids had gone out for the day (Spring Break time) and I was here alone. I heard breaking glass and huge thumps and scraping. I looked out of the back sliding glass door and the awing was being blown off of the patio slab, the frame of the tent bent, my gazing ball had been crushed by one of the patio chairs which had been blown up on top of the other furniture. The awning cover, patio furniture cushions and other lighter weight things were out in the yard. I later gleaned from information online that we had had a micro burst of about 75 mph. We've had several of those in the past 5 years. No changes in climate here, lol.

The neighbors to the south of us had a big old tree blow down and I found another neighbor, two houses up from us, umbrella cover and two of her large yard decorations caught on our chain link to the north of us. Lots of debris on the street and other folks out of their houses and looking for......????

It was scary. The wind from the south southwest is a grumbly monster in the spring and has increased her angry tenfold. All the destruction was on the west side of the street in the backyards and on the east side of the street front yards. Directional derecho. That's our new phrase at Casa de Cuckoo.

And then I thought what a wuss I am. All of the people who live through horrific weather situations; flood, tornado, hurricanes, and I get freaked out by yet another micro burst. Which led me to my thoughts about how when something happens to us, we, think it is the horrible happening possible, until we turn and see someone else who has it so much worse than us. It's all in our perspective.

So on Saturday when we were reconstructing, anchoring down, cleaning up and thanking our lucky stars, I did in fact thank the stars and moon and sun and my family. I am blessed, I am humbled by my lot in life, I am a lucky ducky.

So I'll take our micro burst (derecho)  to be a lesson in humility and thankfulness. I love/hate lessons.

Happy Spring

Gardening in a bucket...............

This has been a very fast paced and worthwhile past few days. 10 days that is. I have been busy looking through seed catalogs ordering seeds and plants, gardening gadgets and purchasing soil, containers, plus making a planograph for the upcoming planting extravaganza that will begin this week. I love this obsessive/compulsive part of any project. "Get out the graph paper and start the measuring".

the flowers blooming in my garden are dish flowers

As so many others are doing, Casa de Cuckoo will be attempting to grow more of our own fruits and veggies. I know that in the long run, it will cost us more than if we just go to the grocery for our produce but I will know where it came from and what went into the growing of said produce. Besides that, I will be able to feed my family unusual and almost forgotten heirloom veggies with a whole different taste profile than the bland we get from the store.

I know we will continue to attend and support the growers market but whose to say that in a couple of years, we too will have some varietals to sell to folks, knowing that we are helping the planet. It's a warm and fuzzy thought on a cold and windy day.

Jameson checking out the area

Ellie Mae making sure Jameson did it right

It is so scary to think what we have been ingesting based on the market research and also the scare tactics of some of the "health" gurus. I don't believe everything at face value anymore. I research and ask questions. It just makes sense to trust ourselves and make the best of what we have and use it for our own well being.

I know my family trusts my judgment and tenacity, but they can never not use the sarcasm gene that I bestowed upon them.  When I brought the idea of a container garden up to them, they reminded me of the "great failed straw bale garden of 2014". Nothing like an experiment gone wrong to arm teenagers with facts. But I persevered and went on with my research and licked my salty wounds.

We will be gardening in the backyard, on part of our back porch slab, with twenty four, white, 5 gallon, food grade plastic buckets (Lowe's $3.45 ea.), ten, white, 2 gallon buckets ($2.95 ea) for crops that don't require as much root space and 10 after Valentine (red) clearance buckets ($.25 ea) for the companion flowers to keep the bees coming around to pollinate, the other harmful bugs at bay and my continued happiness with viewing the riotous colors. The same volume pots would be so much more expensive and would make the garden adventure cost prohibitive. And because these buckets will not biodegrade, these are forever planters (or at least pretty indestructible). I also purchased some potato bags. They really aren't bags per se. They are garden cloth stand up containers that have a "trap door" so that you can go in from the bottom and harvest potatoes and not disturb the whole plant. I also purchased white plastic colanders to hang above the garden from the gutters to have more flowers growing as well. More bee and butterfly attractors.

potato bucket along with my number one pest control, peppermint juice from dried plants. spiders and mice neither one come around with this great smelling concoction

Each of the buckets will have holes drilled on the sides, 1 inch from the bottom to allow drainage, the bottom of the bucket will be filled with 4 inches of packing peanuts, you know the things that never go away but are inert and non toxic. I have begun the mixing of the soils for each of the crops. Some are acid lovers, others not so much.

Our rescue of the back porch has helped us all to be enthusiastic about being in the backyard again and so this weekend the grands and Shelley thatched the lawn, cleaned up the area around the shrubs and bushes and I worked on the patio slab cleaning up the area. When we were all finished it looked so amazing. Funny how hard work always shines brightly when you reach your goal.

my much loved "collection of memory stuff" on the back porch

Then we went shopping for the dirt. You know it always seems strange to know that for all my life, I have been buying soil in which to plant. Why do I not live on a hill? Where has all the soil gone to? I still am walking on the same sidewalks and they aren't buried in the ground. Just a side note observation.

I won't even go into the exact seeds and plants that we are planting because this is long enough already. But we will be planting 22 fruits and vegetables, 9 herbs and medicinal plants and 15 flower varieties (some of which are also edible) both in the garden containers and in the flower beds. Whew. Can you tell I have a plan? And that implementation of said plan will be taking many hours of work and hopefully, with measured steps we will be eating lots of safe, great home grown veggies in the months to come.

I will not even entertain the thought that the grands will have yet another salty bit to rub in an olde ladies, failed, wounds.

So there.

saucer magnolia "fixing to bloom out"

Happy Spring to come, my lovelies,
Smooches and Squoozes, Oma Linda

Happy Valentine's Day plus one..............

Wasn't yesterday New Year's?

First let me share the lovely flowers that Sweet Man got for his girls yesterday. Ummmm, actually it was on Monday night. He usually forgets, bless him, so this time he was early. Can't blame a guy for wanting to score on the side of okee dokee.

Then today, I went to the usual places and got 1/2 price Valentoonie candy and here's what we scored. The grands and Shelley will be enjoying chocolates for awhile.

Now on to the the promised (more than a month ago) pictures of my insanity crafting.

It took me forever to take the photos and even longer to get the projects to go right. I knew it was going to be tricky to decoupage the music sheets to the drum because of the slickness of the finish, but I hadn't counted on not being able to take the hardware off first. OOOOOpps. I've never even looked closely at a drum before so I had not a clue. Oh well, it turned out as I had hoped and has helped out the "where do I put my beverage" problem we had in the living room. I was able to keep the drum head and so guests, grands and the cats like to mess with the drum and make noise. Fun end table.

I'm really fond of the cigar box lamp. Until you turn it on for ambient light in the evenings, it looks like a pile of stuff hanging around on the entry cabinet. I like how masculine all of it looks with the huge brass pocket watch clock. I've had so many comments about it already.

I want to use the rest of my cigar box stash to make storage items like keepsake boxes and jewelry keepers. And I do want to make a miniature dresser using matchboxes for the drawers. But I'll need to clean out the craft items stacked in the garage and get ready for a garage sale first. Just as well, as slow as I am to finish projects, it will be May before I get around to doing any boxing things.

Hope your end of winter is mild and that you read or craft your winter nights away.

Smooches and Squoozes, Oma Linda

When it takes more than just a quiet moment to clear your head.......

Wow this has been a very interesting beginning to February. I have never had this many days in a row when I was this fuddled. Fuddled = not able to clearly think about or act upon anything. I'm wron down in a fog.

I know that the current political climate has much to do with my inability to "give a big one" or get a good grasp on things but add on top of that an encounter with two emotional vampires and there you have it. I've literally been sucked dry.

this is not our porch swing but the camera has joined in the conspiracy of "nope, not gonna do what you want me to do"

Remember I told you that we were going to have to have the back porch taken down? Well we had a pair of contractors recommended to us and ask these "fellas" to come and give us a quote. Now in my mind, (I was still in it at the time) I'm thinking that come and give me a quote means just that. You speak, I'll listen and then you go away, I'll contemplate what you have told me and then I'll get back with you.

Nope, these men took their lead from Lord King Marmalade, you know our current Toddler in Chief. They just decided they were going to do it no matter what. Persistent and pushy are vague descriptions of these two. They never shut up. Never quit selling another job. Picking apart what is wrong with our home, what is in need of repair and replacement. Telling us how great they are, how smart they are, how right they are.

I must admit, I was gobsmacked, put off and then held hostage by their quick con and their never ceasing speaking. Sweet Man and I relented and they began not tearing the porch down but replacing the water damage and rebuilding the structure. So I guess you could say, I gave up. These railroaders came at 10 am and left at 6 pm.

I must say SM was ever vigilant in watching what they were doing. Me, not so much. Their antics brought on a terrible migraine and I went to bed. Sunday they sent the clean up man to finish up the work. Nice guy, but he didn't have the equipment to finish what the others started and so they returned on Monday.

Monday, I had a few questions and I thought I was ready to face these "fellas". My Momma taught me to be nice, Linda Sybil and you'll win the debate. These non stop chattering ass monkeys could not understand why when they had only come for the check did I still have questions, why I wasn't thrilled with nails and crap being on my lawn, why I wanted the porch swept and furniture moved back under the porch with the weather changing to rainy? Didn't I appreciate that fact that they had saved the porch? That's when the flat nerve express pulled into the station.

To that point I had not cursed, I had not shown my anger, I had not let the full strength of my position as the woman holding their check settle in on them. But they got the whole enchilada of you have pissed me off from me in one felled swoop. I lost it. They wanted to explain to me, because they were the experts, how much they had done for me, how inexpensively they had accomplished that task, how grateful I should be because they were contractors not handy men. Rather, I explained, in no uncertain terms how rude they were to talk down to me, how lucky they were that we hired them, how fortunate they were that SM had dealt with them on the weekend and how I expected all the aforementioned things to be done and inspected by me and me alone before I was willing to hand them their check.

Now I would like to report to you that they did exactly as asked and I gave them their check. Uh...........no. I came into the house. One of them called SM at work to let him "know what was going on back here at home". I suppose they thought they were tattling on me. I don't even call Joe at work. He hates that. They reported to him that I was changing up what was expected of them. Joe told them to buck up and deal with me.

I didn't know anything about the call then, (when I did find out I was off the wall) so when I went outside and saw they hadn't finished doing as I had asked, I was upset. The younger man who works with them and another worker stepped in and started doing the "clean up". The two ass monkeys just sat (literally) and watched. When all was to my satisfaction (well at least better), I handed them the check and walked them to the gate and put the padlock back on it.

Oh, please give me a chance to tell all about the adventures of dealing with these two. They don't have a yelp listing, they aren't on the internet, hmmmmmmmmmm, I wonder why????? NOT

I then smudged the entire backyard, front yard, house and myself as a clearing of the horrible bad vibes they left in my home and life.

Still I am emotionally affected by this assault on my emotions. Double speak, lies and disrespect are three things that bring me to my flat nerve anxiety point. I wasn't strong and didn't dismiss them from the beginning and I am embarrassed that I let them abuse my expectations and trust. I got a really positive read on the younger guy who did all the work from the get go, so I don't believe I have to worry about the back porch anymore, but not speaking up has become an ongoing theme with me and I am mad at myself for not being who I really am..........a bossy broad with attitude. I need to work on that.

Just another one of those life lessons with a hefty price tag.