Sunday, November 22, 2009
High horse time
These puppies are sooooooooooooo cute, have nothing to do with my thoughts but too cute not to pass along.
From time to time, I grab my handy step stool and hoist my lardy bootee up on a tall horse. This is one of those days.
Long, long ago, when dinosaurs roamed the earth,I worked in the church as a Christian Educator and Youth Minister, I was always amazed by "God's children". And sometimes not in a good way. Most of the people were very lovely people who were looking for a way to express their faith. Most of the kids that came to the programs that were offered came because their parents wanted them to be involved in wholesome activities, safe activities with other "nice" people. Some parents sent their kids hoping that the atmosphere of the church would effect their children and help them be better people. I have to admit sometimes it was the case but often times, not so much.
I love hope. It is so open to interpretation. It is so flexible. It is so transient.
And in most cases when accompanied by fine tuned self centered expectation....well there ya go.
Like all social organizations, people get in the way of the ideal and that is not any different in church. People want the "things" they are involved in to be molded after their needs, wishes, desires, images, etc. Never mind that the person next to you wants it a different way. Never mind what their needs might be, or where their thoughts take them. Selfishness and ego centered thoughts don't stop at the door of the church, synagogue, sacred circle, mosque. When mankind (just as a generic term, not casting aspersions on men) gets involved, shit happens. Now I've said it.
I quit my job which I thought at the time was my "calling" (sounded loftier) because I was so disheartened by the way people treated each other, in church of all places. And yes Virginia, I do know there is a Santa Claus. I then went to work for the NM Conference of Churches in an advisory position. 897 churches to look at and say WTF??? All different denominations, all with people problems and all with staff yearning to have faith. I am here to tell you, to work in the church, it is the hardest place to keep the faith, on so many different levels. That's why minister, preachers, rabbi, priests, nuns, and church staffs go on retreats. Otherwise, they might start eating the church folks.
I always tell the people I know from before when I see them, when they ask (and they always ask) where I'm going to church and I tell them I go NOWHERE. I'm not mad at God but his children suck hardcore.
Now my story does not end there. The prejudice that exists within our own little clique worlds makes us think that because we believe this way that the "others" who don't believe the same way are wrong, evil, bad, and misguided at best. So after leaving the churchies behind I searched for a place to be in life where I could "fit". That just led me to know that where I had come from was a place I never wanted to be again. I have a new path. A more solitary one, without structure, guidance from others, rules that have to be maintained and still the "people" element causes distress. I recently joined a group where people swap information, stories etc. Well, a lady had kittens that she wanted to find good homes. In her posting she indicated that she would give these kittens to anyone except a christian. Sirens, lights flashing, warning, warning Will Robinson, the prejudice is here too.
That was the same thing I had heard on the other side. So my life lesson is this....people are people are people. We are all nuts, irregular and flawed but human, in need of the same things, just in different corners of this reality.
So when a new acquaintance tells me that she is surprised and disappointed that folks had gone to her blog to register for a giveaway she was having and I was one of the only persons who had actually had something nice to say in addition to registering to win the giveaway, it just reminded me of where I have come from and where I need to be. Grateful, kind, pleasant and constantly aware that some of the lessons I have learned, need to be shared. And I am thankful for the universe speaking to me through someone new and my heart, even if it is older than the hills, can still embrace my duty to life and to the sucky people. After all, someone loves them even if it can't be me, I still have to be nice. Cuz NICE MATTERS.