Friday, December 18, 2009
Shut up, just shut up Linda...coulda , woulda, shoulda
Jessica this morning reminded me of yet another sick Christmas tale. Sick in the illness vein, not cool sick or icky sick. After yesterday's post it's kinda thematic.
The Christmas season just before we made the move from the house by the Country Club area to the Heights which would make it when I was 12, I came down with Chicken Pox. See kiddies, this is why you get all those disgusting immunizations when you're too little to defend yourselves, because you don't want to have measles, mumps and chicken pox.
So there I was, home alone with nothing to do except eat all the Christmas cookies my Mom had spent weeks working on and getting into the chest type freezer and almost making the mistake of closing the sucker on myself. Whew, if it had not been for my robe tie, I'd have been a polka dotted dead child for the holidays, but I suppose fate had in mind that I should grow up and have a yoyo daughter and grandchildren who are lovely torturers of olde baggs and stuft shirts. Remember the word Karma, lovelies, it will be self explanatory.
My Mom worked and so she had made all the cookies on the weekend. I remember distinctly her saying something about death and cookies but you know when you are 12 the words from adults just sort of float thru the air past your ears.
When she came home I told her I was sorry that I had almost gotten stuck in the freezer, her eyes glazed over, and when I continued and told her that most but not all the cookies were gone, she sorta smiled like one of those scary dolls that has an expression but your not sure what it is. She pushed me out of her way and went to the garage to see what shape the freezer was in. I'd say she was sorta cheeky and rude cuz I did have a really bad stomache and after all I had almost done myself in by death by freezer but I had watched way too many Twilight Zones and Alfred Hitchcock presents with her and had a sense that the phrase....feets don't fail me now was more than just a timely thought. So I went to my room. To my surprise and horror....that's exactly where I was to stay for the rest of the night. Huh????? "Okay but I think you're taking this all wrong Mom".
To add insult to injury, if that was at all possible, the next day out of boredom, I just couldn't resist all the packages under the tree. I mean they were there calling my name, I had nothing to do and..........I can't believe she let me live after this one. I opened all the presents. Not just mine but every ones. Oh, I put all the tape and ribbon back on and may have gotten away with it had it not for what has been a lifelong dilemma for me.....my mouth.
Everyone was opening presents and my Sister said she really wanted to know what my Aunt Sybil in Tennessee had sent her and I proceeded to tell her. OOPS. Did that really just come out of my mouth? Run Linda, run.
That same look came over my Mother's face, you know the scary one, I think it was also accompanied by a twitch and I didn't get to eat Christmas dinner with the family. There ya go.
There has to be some lesson in this. Let's see. Listen, behave, and don't get the Chicken Pox. Nope, be obedient and thoughtful and don't get the Chicken Pox. Nah, don't tell on yourself, don't open your mouth and don't get the Chicken Pox. Yeah that's it.
And why is it I ever question why my grands are as weird as they are......? All that is in their genes. And karma is ROTFLHAO.