I have learned so much this year. About the kingdom of blog, the citizens of blogotropolis and how much I needed this.
And because of some of your strengths and vulnerabilities, which I gleaned from your posts, I have been doing some of that old fashioned soul searching. At times I've bumped up against some ugly stuff and at other times I have remembered my sense of humor and seen the miracles of my existence. Thanks to all you dear hearts who have helped with my emotional surgery and partial recovery. I am, as they say in the movies, on the mend. More whole than not, more real than before and stronger because of you. Thanks isn't enough but it will have to do for now because I have no other word.
I have, since my Mother died, sorta died for her here on this plane. I gave up. Prior to her death, I was a pretty blowin and goin (shut it right there) kinda woman. Had lots of things going at one time and was damn good at keeping my balls in the air (see there ya go again). I had my foibles but I avoided thinking about them because I was so busy. Not that I can defend or justify all that I did because it is in the past and I can't change it but I simply gave up the real me. You know what's funny? My Mom didn't like the real me, the funny me. She wanted the more like her, me and since I didn't give it to her while she was living........yeah it don't take a psycho to figure this one out, I became her me after she died. The spark was hidden.
Joe and I moved in with my father 5 years ago, back to the house where I was an adolescent, which was a huge mistake. He was the meanest man created on the face of the earth and that didn't improve any with age. He was perve in a perverted world. Because I became complacent he was allowed to continue his reign of abuse and terror on another generation be it only one time and then his happy old ass was in a managed care facility. Sound cruel? No, trust me, it was the sentence deserved by a very horrible human being.
I'm not writing this for you to feel any sorrow for me but rather to let you know I have come through a fire and my
I'll take the Blue Moon tonight and be thankful for a rare occurance of turn arounds, new beginnings, fresh starts, renewed energy........hope. And I picked out a word to be my focus for the new year, thanks to Mother Moon, That forward thinking word is opportunity. I shall not miss one again. Not a business related, friend making, stop and smell the roses, get it together one, ever again.
Thank you my bloggie buddies, friends, partners in crime, loved ones and special woman who have delivered me.......back to me.