Thursday, December 31, 2009

Wax on, Wax off


Just a warning. I am going to wax, albeit poetic or profectic or not. Mostly not but nanee nanee boo boo.

I have learned so much this year. About the kingdom of blog, the citizens of blogotropolis and how much I needed this.

And because of some of your strengths and vulnerabilities, which I gleaned from your posts, I have been doing some of that old fashioned soul searching. At times I've bumped up against some ugly stuff and at other times I have remembered my sense of humor and seen the miracles of my existence. Thanks to all you dear hearts who have helped with my emotional surgery and partial recovery. I am, as they say in the movies, on the mend. More whole than not, more real than before and stronger because of you. Thanks isn't enough but it will have to do for now because I have no other word.

I have, since my Mother died, sorta died for her here on this plane. I gave up. Prior to her death, I was a pretty blowin and goin (shut it right there) kinda woman. Had lots of things going at one time and was damn good at keeping my balls in the air (see there ya go again). I had my foibles but I avoided thinking about them because I was so busy. Not that I can defend or justify all that I did because it is in the past and I can't change it but I simply gave up the real me. You know what's funny? My Mom didn't like the real me, the funny me. She wanted the more like her, me and since I didn't give it to her while she was living........yeah it don't take a psycho to figure this one out, I became her me after she died. The spark was hidden.

Joe and I moved in with my father 5 years ago, back to the house where I was an adolescent, which was a huge mistake. He was the meanest man created on the face of the earth and that didn't improve any with age. He was perve in a perverted world. Because I became complacent he was allowed to continue his reign of abuse and terror on another generation be it only one time and then his happy old ass was in a managed care facility. Sound cruel? No, trust me, it was the sentence deserved by a very horrible human being.

I'm not writing this for you to feel any sorrow for me but rather to let you know I have come through a fire and my gold brass is starting to shine again.


I'll take the Blue Moon tonight and be thankful for a rare occurance of turn arounds, new beginnings, fresh starts, renewed energy........hope. And I picked out a word to be my focus for the new year, thanks to Mother Moon, That forward thinking word is opportunity. I shall not miss one again. Not a business related, friend making, stop and smell the roses, get it together one, ever again.

Thank you my bloggie buddies, friends, partners in crime, loved ones and special woman who have delivered me.......back to me.

8 comments:

  1. Happy Blue Moon to you and New Years. Down with the old and on with the new. Thanks for sharing thoughts this year and I look forward to sharing thoughts again next year. HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU AND YOURS!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You will have so much to give with all that now behind you. I can hardly wait to visit your Blog to see what wisdom you will share in this next year!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ah dearie, I must have come in in the middle of the story! But I hope you will continue to heal and feel better and regain yerself and get that spark back (heaven help us if yer much more lively than you are already...!!!)...many wishes for a Happy 2010 and always and all way fer you...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you for all your support and love these past few months. I am so glad you found me.

    You can wax on, wax off [ouch] giggle - and do what you like, but I will always be back.

    You are special - and fun. Thanks for everything and have a wonderful New Year Tadpole! :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Linda, i wish you all the best you can get for 2010! With lots of love and happiness with your grandkids and other sweet familie members and friends! You deserve it, my dear friend! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Linda...
    Wishing you much joy and happiness in the new year. So glad we've become friends.
    HAPPY NEW YEAR!
    ♥ audrey

    ReplyDelete
  7. You go.....your thoughts on life are really interesting and I can relate to most of them.
    We're headed (from CO) to Albq sometime this month...maybe I'll see you fairy watching when I'm there! What is the BEST part of Alb? Not for tourists...but where it's REAL?
    I'm going to FOLLOW you...you are one interesting woman!
    Jan
    janellabella.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. I think blogging is a wonderful source of healing energy. I have found too that in sharing your thoughts and feelings it helps release some of your troubles. It doesn't hurt that most of the folks in the blogging communities are the most wonderful people you'll ever know, even if not in person. I hope you have a very blessed new year my friend.

    ReplyDelete

I love to hear from you. Thanks for taking the time to comment.