Tuesday, January 12, 2010

This post is rated PG-9

Happy Tuesday. Or as we like to call it in the asylum, Linda's day out. You all know I own a car that I don't get to drive but one day a week because the other adults in my household have paying jobs and I just go out to spend the money. See the problem?

On some occasions, emergencies, or when no one is looking, or when they are all busy eating breakfast, I make a quick escape and venture out into the world on an unscheduled day. Oh good grief. Okay so I am a sneaky ole bitch and go for it.

Today I was to have the car, but someone else's schedule changed and it's not my day now. Okay, I can accept that and kick the dog later. But hark, what's that???? and emergency you say??? GereaKaye forgot to tell us she needed something for school and it had to be gotten today before school started?????? What????, everyone else is busy, and has showered and are dressed and still they can't take her???? WTH (it woulda been WTF but I am trying to clean up my act, yeah for my old potty mouthed self).

So stinky Oma, gets dressed sorta, and hauls GK to the drugstore not far from her school to buy that "Oh but if I don't have it by today I'll get a bad grade......meh, meh, meh, (bottom lip out, crocodile tears in her little buggy eyes)". I get out of the car, start up the handicap ramp because it is easier on my nasty old knee and.......................

I hope you have seen the movie "Up". If not, synopsis, old man Mr. Frederickson, young boy Russell, who is a member of the Wilderness scouts needs to earn his assisting the elderly badge, so he knocks on the old man's door and asks if he can help him across the street etc. Very funny movie, more for adults than kids.

GereaKaye comes around the car and says, "Hey Oma, if I was in the Wilderness Scouts, I'd be earning my assisting the elderly badge now." and I just lost it. I am older yes, but elderly not yet....not far away, but not yet. ILMAO. I guess she couldn't tell if I was laughing laughing or having an attack or what ever but that kid was so startled and it make it even funnier. Poor GK.

After we had gotten back in the car after getting the grade notebook binder thingie. She says in a very official tone. "You know, if people would stick to the schedule, you wouldn't have to be doing this for me huh Oma?"....and I thought to myself. Have you seen the movie Clueless??????????? and laughed all the way to school.

Okay so does this mean that my family sees me as the great "elderly" maliable one, the old crone rescuer, or just some idiot old broad that they can pull one over on? Whatever they are thinking, it's a good thing I have a sense of humor. Other wise, have you seen the movie, Oma ate the family?

I want Sandra Bullock to play me, Ryan Reynolds and Christian Kane and Nathan Fillion and Jake Owen to play my love interests and OMG that's a whole nother movie, day dream, bad Linda, bad Linda

hope you're not too shocked my sweet blogilious friends, I'm older not dead..................


  1. My neighborhood friend growing up was visited every Saturday by her Oma - you are the only other Oma I have ever known - and her Oma was quite aged to our young eyes - but y'know? You are to young at heart for me to picture you as elderly/needing help.

    Don't get me started on the "I need this/that/the other thing" at the last minute. My eldest holds the record for most times in a week doing that to me and Pooldad. Le' sigh.

    vert word is patio - well THAT is no fun. it is a real word. Okay I will use it in a sentence. "Hey Oma want to go sit on the patio and drink mimosas?" LOL

  2. Hey Darlin' Skippy: You can come to my patio and drink whatever your heart desires anytime. I make a really mean blue Margarita. Funny story about Oma. My mother was know as Fammy cuz my cousin couldn't say Frances. I wanted to be called something differenttoo other than GRANDMA, so since my husbands family is German, there ya go. But SM didn't like the German Opa, so he is Papa.

  3. Gosh, if I was going for a German name, I would have grabbed "Groot Mutti Sauerkraut" or "Frau Hassenpfeffer" or maybe even "Kleine Kartoffelkopf" and made all of 'em say that every time. Serve 'em right fer taking yer car time from ye.

  4. Hey linda... when they do make that lifetime movie of your life... can I play your dear sweet friend whom you share your love interest with on occasion.... Just an idea..... laughing as usual....

  5. Dearest Penniwig, if I could say those things or even try spelling them again, I most certainly would require them to address me with any or all.
    Janie, my sweet friend, Mi day dream es su day dream. Yummy, yummy, those boys are so perdy.

  6. Thanks for the pics pf the hunka-licious guys! As to the car... doesn't age rule?

  7. OMG You have me in tears I'm laughing so hard. Lady, you are a RIOT!

  8. Linda... I like your choice of "love interests" and you really do make me laugh.
    Your Jack Frost and Snow Wizard are wonderful winter decorations!!

    My verif. word: cesif

    Who ces if you NEED it, Linda won't take you to GET it?

    ♥ audrey

  9. Yikes....grrrrrrr!! We're not dirty ol' women, but sexy, senior citizens...ok, like dirty ol' women better!!!

    Love ya, B&G,
    The word is "derrit." "As he slept, I watched him breath, his chest moving up and down, derrit I touch him?"


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