Sunday, January 3, 2010

Kids, you can't live with um and it's illegal to roast um

SM and I escaped the house today. We just had to because otherwise we were going to have to eat the grandchildren. They were making us nutz. No surely not, how could that happen during Christmas vacation when you haven't had kids 24-7 since your own 30 something year old was their age? It was in everyone's best interest to flea like the cowards we are.

So, we thought we'd go out to breakfast. Albeit late breakfast, we beat the church folks to the restaurant. We also decided it had been a long time since we went out on to the way out west side of Metro Albuquerque. Wow, I knew California and Oregon folks were moving out here but had no idea that it had already happened to the extent that we now have housing developments that could be stage sets for ET part dos. It reminded me of that early 70's song, Little house on a hillside, little house make of ticky tacky and they all look just the same. Pseudo mediterranean with pinky faux tile roofs by the hundreds. Very scarey. And a Walmart on every corner. God save the queen or something.

At the restaurant, one of those that serve way too much food but it tastes so yummy that you eat 1/2 and bring 1/2 home. Our escape unfortunately turned into a floor show. Our luck is holding even the new year..............they sat us next to a table with two women and a 5ish year old boy, with ADHD or some other lovely "gosh, I wanna smack that kid" disorder, just like our beloved Ry. This kid wouldn't eat, walked around the area, tipped over his chair, pinched, flicked, smacked his Mom and then when she told him he was getting nothing else to eat all day besides what was currently on his plate, he made this horrible hateful face, got up and flicked her on the end of her nose.

Wait for it.........absolutely nothing. Sit down, says she in a non threatening voice. Whoa my head spun around, I thought WTH, and I am sure the noise from my jaw dropping disturbed people blocks away. When I was relating this story to Shelley and GK, my beautiful granddaughter said in all honestly and innocence, "did the boy die?"

So he proceeds to get her purse and start messing with the contents. Lipstick smeared on his lips, cellphone calls to goodness only knows where, then comes the flashlight. He turns the halogen sucker on and starts looking for a target. Started scanning the wall next to where I was sitting. I know you have already guessed that I had been giving him the evil eye all this time, so he already knew where I stood on his behavior. He started to shine it in my face and then.....he thought better of it and turned and shined the light in the other lady at the his table's eyes. And then graced his Mom with the pleasure of temperary blindness. About this time we had finished our meal and made our way to the cashier.

As we were ambling (cuz we do that best nowadays) to the car, Mom, other woman and little shit pass us on the way to their vehicle. Mom has little shit by the arm, above his head screaming at him about all his transgressions of the day. He is begging for her to stop and I am voting for her to back the car over his naughty butt cheeks.

So I thought I would take a poll on the whole point of this post. Are you, or where you a parent who:
  1. would have taken action when the misbehavior occurred?
  2. would have taken the kid to the restroom to do some corrective interaction?
  3. waited out of embarassment until you got to the car to give him whatfor?
  4. threatened to take care of "business" when you get home? (This was my Mother's choice of action. And I was a believer, trust me.)
  5. made an ass out of yourself and your kid in the parking lot?
  6. left the kid in the restaurant and head for the hills? (It's tempting)
  7. been better about the birth control years ago? (Amen)
  8. used the bad kids behavior to terrify your own kids into submission? (works as birth control for teenagers too)
  9. thanked the stars that you were out for a quiet meal and could get in the car without a kid? (Check, check and check.)
I do have to share with you that I feel bad for all involved today. Poor kid had to have learned the flick technique of disrepect somewhere, Mom shuts down out of embarassment and let's it escalate into real ugliness too late to make a positive correction to behavior and the rest of us had to witness it. Yuck.

And I hope you had a good day too. Well maybe better day is the hope.


  1. Having had so many kids and having taken them all out to eat at sometime when they were small they knew one rule and it was "You KNOW this restaurant has a bathroom, right?"

    Worked wonders. They knew the talking to in the bathroom would result in some sort of punishment when we arrived home and not one of them was going to risk it. Also, I worked in the restaurant biz all through high school and college and I know how I DON'T want my kids to act. They know [have always known] better.

    Still - I see how some kids act when we go out to eat and I have to wonder if it is ADD, ADHD, Autism - and the parents are just so simply worn out that they can't do it anymore [for this meal] and just want to eat a meal they didn't prepare.

    Sorry your meal was ruined. I had to laugh about the backing the car over his behind. heehee.

  2. I am going to put it out there. I am a firm believer in spanking, not beating your child but not a love tap neither. Both of my boys know that if I tell them to stop doing something in a certain tone of voice they had better stop. The next time won't be a warning, their bottoms are gonna smart. *knock on wood* I haven't spanked either of them in about 6-7 months. My children are very respectful of not only adults but their peers too. Well most of the time. I have a preteen so he is getting to that "moody" age. But still, in that situation, their butts would have been toast. People are all into time outs and other psychological punishments but there is no confusing a smack on the tush with I can go to my room and still do what I want.

    Now I understand the boy may have had some type of ADHD disorder but I still wonder how much of what the child displayed was disorder and how much was him knowing he could get away with it?

    BTW, pestolly is an herb that only grows near the Mediterranean sea. ;)

  3. OMG - what would I have done - Kill the Kid. No only kidding but it would have crossed my mind. Seriously I would have taken action when the misbehaviour 1st sat at the table. By the way thank you very much for your comments on my blog I really appreciate them. After that breakfast you really need to do something for yourself.

  4. interesting story... can only imagine your reaction... :-) Although I terribly miss my grandkids at the moment, I do understand the need to escape from time to time... especially us old folks who are just not as young as we used to be... plus that is the joy of being a grandparent... you can give them back... Sorry to hear of the incident at the restaurant...its a bummer when other people allow their children or selves to be such a distraction in a public place... whether they are embarassed of whatever, it is not fair for them to spoil everyone elses time. Sounds like the little boy needs a good popping..... love the picture you gave.... ah those naughty boys....

  5. Oh, don't get me started with that kind of behavior and parenting. Ya know, I too have an autistic, ADHD kid and he didn't get away with much, especially out in public. I feel for these parents, but they too need to learn how to handle it. And it's not just parents of children with learning or other disabilites, you see it with other children who are allowed to do what ever they want.

    One of the times I was in Ausitn, my daughter, grandkids and I were at Book People. This little skinny yuppie type was sitting there reading to her 2 obviously adopted daughters. Once they got bored with mommy's moralistic story about a bear, they got up and started getting into the toys that were on display. My 5 year old grandson, Zach, was doing the same thing. I was sitting there in the children section, thumbing through a book that had been miss placed in that section, an auto-bi about this guy who had been in the Nazi youth back in the day, I saw what Zach was doing and warned him to come away from the toys...of course, I'm the grandmother and non-threatening, so I warned him again..nothing...I then told him if he didn't come away from the toys I was going to yank his arm out and hit him over the head with it!!!! OMG!!!! You should have seen that skinny be-atch's face..what a Kodak moment!!! hahahahahaha!!! She whisked her spoiled spawn away to another section, giving me that eye...of course I was smiling the whole time at her!!

    As for your question, I would take them to the bathroom. Actually, that was my daughter's little punishment in public forums. All I had to do was just threaten her with a visit to the loo and she would shout, "No Mommy!" because she knew what that meant...thank God she was potty trained by then!!! I'm a firm believer in spanking, not beating, but a good wipe across the buns! But now most people are afraid to do anything like that since CPS patrol will come around and take your little angel and throw you in jail, and don't think the kids don't know it!!!

    Ok, my word is "opado." NOw to use it in a sentence, "Mija, can't joo see I'm opado!"

    LOve, blessings and goats,

  6. Ladies: thanks so much for the replies.
    Skippy: I am going to steal you line for my boy Ry. He, for the most part is fearful of our disappointment and snaps to, just out of respect, but a good tool like your line is aces.
    Jessica: GK calls that my "re-arranger". I have laughed now at myself cuz if I were playing the game with the word without the dash....well smacking a bottom is the norm for punishable offences here. The naughty corner however scares the beegees out of Ry. (I don't threaten, 1 warning and you're toast, so Jessica high five).
    Davine: I love your blog, you're welcome and thank you too.
    Janie: 8 months ago, I missed my grands so much I couldn't move. I cried everyday. When I saw other kids, even the very bad ones, I cried. So it's been a famine to a feast, and we just needed to push away from the feasting for a few hours. I understand where you are coming from. and you're right Ah, those naughty boys......

  7. Now that I am done hysterically laughing and got myself picked back up off the floor - Sorry about the ruined "breakfast escape", but so glad you can write about it in such an amuzing way. I would correct on the spot and if that didn't work the "wait until you get home" did. Even my grandchildren know I mean business when we are out in public! Oh, no the laughter is starting again... my word today is cancr...a naughty boy that must be removed.

  8. Oops, Georgina and Marlene slipped in whilst I was making coffee.
    Georgina, my girl, Did the beatch, even stay in the store? I used to us that line "rip your arm etc..." on my nephews back in the day. Even then they knew I was a bad ass and quit whateva. You make me laugh. Thanks obi one behave.
    Marlene: Your laughing makes me laugh. It's the highest compliment and makes my day.

  9. I never spanked or struck my child...and I was an elementary school teacher and so have seen lots of bratty-butt behavior that seemed completely unaffected by spankings -- and I have a son with what was eventually called "Autism Spectrum Disorder" (translation: We don't know why he's a weird little sh*t and we would like you to leave the office and take him with you now, thank you) --

    THAT SAID, if you have a kid with problems, then you deal with it. You don't allow that behavior. If they are going to do that behavior, due to either mental problems or brattiness problems, then guess what Mommy, you don't get to go eat out like regular folks!!! Nope! You get to stay home with your uncontrolled kiddo!!!

    Because even though someone might have a disorder, that does NOT give license to subject others, yourself, or the child itself to the behavior.

    If the kid acts inappropriately and actual good parenting can't correct the situation (such as in a case of autism) -- then the child must be removed from the situation, and the parent must remove themselves from it!!! Too bad, so sad! And yes, it's pretty miserable having such a lot in life, but hey, that's the breaks.

    By the way, not to stink up your bloggie with my own rant, but GEEZ, I am *SICK* of parents of BRATS claming their kids have autism or the like!!! It infuriates me and now I am crying tears of RAGE because real mental illness -- not bad personalities or bad parenting -- is HEARTBREAKING.

  10. Penniwig: Amen to what you have said. Ry is still in the "fog" state of diagnosis. No one will, can, has said what it is they think he has. Poor little critter. Autism is the game and Ry is his name. They are quick to hand out medication but I'm not real keen on that either. We will probably never really know but the bottom line is......he cannot control what happens. He tries, oh my he tries, you can see it in his expression, but he can't. So my dear, Amen and I am so sorry I made you cry. It is never my intention to anger, hurt or betray anyone. I am so very sorry.

  11. Good heavens, dearie, I was crying because I wanted to go crack someone's head with my flail...NOT know the type I was railing against...they just have a spoiled kid and poor skills themselves and they grab onto a diagnosis that is basically a life sentence, just tra-la-la, like it's nothing...and it makes it ever so much harder when your child DOES have a of luck with truly they CANNOT control themselves and behavior mod does NOT work on them...


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