Here I sit wanting to be my old humor ridden self with a knot in my gut. I need to share. I need to cry. I need to scream. I need a hug.
You all know that my grands are two of the most important persons in my life. You also know that I sorta dote on them, like everyday. When one of them hurts, I hurt and when one of them bleeds, I clean up the mess.
Both of the kiddos are seeing counselors because of "life before". They have been affected deeply by circumstances way beyond their control (like most kids separated from one parent). But the little guy with his Autism has a much harder time vocalizing his hurts. That is why the counseling. This week he faced and revealed some really hard stuff in his session and now we know a truth that is ugly. So ugly....I am numb. We don't know who but we know what.
How can a grown adult human being inflict pain and suffering on a child? Why would anyone want to take "power" away from someone so innocent? How am I ever gonna look at life the same? How can I make it better for my grands? What the hell am I supposed to do with all this anger?
There are no answers at this moment in time. I don't expect you, my lovelies, to have the answers. I just needed to borrow your strength for one moment in time when I need more than I have in reserve.
Needless to say, I thank you just for taking the time to read this. If it is not an imposition, could I ask, think of us and send some positive energy our way?