Thursday, January 14, 2010

This is not a typical Linda post....just warning you

Here I sit wanting to be my old humor ridden self with a knot in my gut. I need to share. I need to cry. I need to scream. I need a hug.

You all know that my grands are two of the most important persons in my life. You also know that I sorta dote on them, like everyday. When one of them hurts, I hurt and when one of them bleeds, I clean up the mess.

Both of the kiddos are seeing counselors because of "life before". They have been affected deeply by circumstances way beyond their control (like most kids separated from one parent). But the little guy with his Autism has a much harder time vocalizing his hurts. That is why the counseling. This week he faced and revealed some really hard stuff in his session and now we know a truth that is ugly.  So ugly....I am numb. We don't know who but we know what.

How can a grown adult human being inflict pain and suffering on a child? Why would anyone want to take "power" away from someone so innocent? How am I ever gonna look at life the same? How can I make it better for my grands? What the hell am I supposed to do with all this anger?

There are no answers at this moment in time. I don't expect you, my lovelies, to have the answers. I just needed to borrow your strength for one moment in time when I need more than I have in reserve.

Needless to say, I thank you just for taking the time to read this. If it is not an imposition, could I ask, think of us and send some positive energy our way?


  1. You can share your hurt anytime in my space. I think the best thing for that you can do for your grands you are already doing. LOVE them, hold them, tell them you love them and let them know no matter what you are there for them. I am sending as much good energy as I can to you today.

  2. Sending a thousand positive thoughts your way. I hope that the healing can start for all of you.

  3. Linda I am so sorry for your pain and the pain for your grand and the rest of your family. It is a horrible thing and hard to understand, We have lived with the realization of an ugly truth in my family also and there is not much you can do but give the victim as much love as you can and time. My grand is doing very well now, in college and working and doing remarkably well - we thought we had lost her (in high school) as she was taking drugs and cutting on herself but after much counseling etc. we made it through and I know you will to. You have all my positive energy and thoughts and prayers coming your way.

  4. Linda, sending positive and healing thoughts your way. I will include you in my prayers this day. I'll send an email to my friend to include you in her prayers as well. Take care.

  5. Please feel all my strength and love coming your way. Tears are on my cheeks for your grandson and your family.

    As long as he has the love and support of you and his family he will come through this. Promise.

    Know that we are thinking of you and if there is anything we can do we are right here.

  6. One thing I think I know about you is that you have enough love in you to salve away your grands pain. If.. and I know it will be monumental.. he can work past this, he will become the most amazing person. (And likely already is!) I know you have it in you to help him arrive there. I'm just so sorry humans do these unspeakable things to each other. And especially to those whose trust is complete. Keep spilling it all out here. We will listen and will support you whenever you need us.

  7. Oh, Linda, as great as life can be, there are times when it really sucks!
    I am sorry for the pain you are feeling right now. I sometimes think the pain is worse for us when someone hurts our little ones.
    Just remember, it is good that he got it out in the open and now he can start to heal.
    Turn your anger into love and give it all to him. He needs you and your love more than ever. He needs to know that you are there for him.
    I think this blogging is a wonderful outlet for all of us. We share our joys and our sorrows and we root for each other and pray for each other. It is a wonderful thing.
    I send my love, my prayers, and good energy to you. With all the good things being sent to you from this network of blog friends, you will get through this, Linda.
    ♥ audrey

  8. Never feel you have to write your blog for you audience. Just be yourself, or what's the point?

    I'm so sad for your family. Be careful of the anger, as there is a LOT more anger than you might first think. Don't push it down, nor give it play at this point.

    Very hard to do.

    Hang in there.

  9. Honey,
    You are and will remain in my prayers. I understand your anger, and there is no need to worry about "venting" with us.
    Blessings to you and yours.
    Love ya!

  10. I took a nap this afternoon, just to get away from my thoughts and when I woke up and checked blogdom, there you were all of you lovelies, with you arms and hearts surrounding me and mine and I am humbled by your response. Thanks for you outpouring of love.

  11. Linda... I can totally understand your rage... I know that my grands are more important to me than I can describe and there is a protectiveness that scares me at times....Im here dearie if you need to talk... hope you know that....

  12. Linda...if you read my "Merry Widow" post you will know that I have been through some horrible things...the difference with your Grandson is that you all believe his words...(no one listened to me) that in itself will make his healing much faster.
    And he will heal...he has all of you to support him...and he couldn't ask for more...
    Give everyone a big hug from me...
    I'm thinking of you my sweetheart...

  13. ~my heart saddens with pain to hear your words...sending you strength and a warm hug...bright thoughts and many blessing for you and yours...may you all find courage to face this from deep down and help your little one as he has been so brave to come forth and him your love...let him know he is cared for ...just be there for him...its a long road towards healing but you can find the step at a time...much love and light and blessings from all~

  14. dear, just wanted to send another note.... received your lovely reply and all I can say is you are a strong woman and approaching this in a wonderful manner... Just be there for your grand... he needs you more than you realize.... and your love around him can be more of a comfort and security than you know.... You are exactly what he needs... and you could never have been that if you had not found out the facts... as hard as it was... Give him an extra hug from me...

  15. Let us know if you were knocked over with all the positive thoughts coming your way! They were truly meant to help. Hope they did!
    smiles, alice


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