Funny! I don’t need no stinking funny!
My wife seems to think I’m funny, but I’m not quite sure how she means that. Am I funny looking? Do the things I do seem strange? Do I say amusing things? Or do I have a mental/physical problem?
I’ve been trying to get a handle on this for over 30 years. I’ve come to this conclusion, I’m normal looking; both eyes are almost evenly spaced on either side of my face. Ears are about even, mustache a little crooked. When I smile my mouth is fairly even. Both my legs are more or less even. Arms I have two about the same length, body to limb factor seems to be correct. Hair seem normal, normal color for a 50 some person (although I’m much older than 50). I dress conservatively. For work mostly slacks and a relatively in style shirt (90’s to 2010 vintage) and when I’m home I dress in jeans or shorts and a polo shirt. I do not believe I would be named in any magazine as on of the top 10 best looking men in America, nor do I believe I would be listed in the ugliest man category. All seems normal to me. The first part of my conclusion is it can not be my appearance.
Do I do things that seem unusual?Not in the past few years. I mean, we all do some strange things form time to time. You know like playing football with your daughter in the grocery store with loaves of bread (it’s not like we were not going to buy something, perhaps not bread, but something. Or having grocery carts races down the rows, I mean everyone does it.) No if my friends jumped off the London bridge I would not join them, it would cost to much to fly to London, but if they jumped off a cliff near by I might …, oops I’ve wandered off subject. No I do not do strange things, oh perhaps on Halloween, when I dress up like an old model “T” and drag race the neighborhood kids, but hey its Halloween. I’m really kind of boring when I think about it, not funny at all.
Physical problems, I can not think of any physical problems that I have that would cause my wife to think I’m funny. I am a normal couch potato, but I like only quality programming. I do not watch everything. For example, I do not watch smarter than a 5th grader (and no it’s not because I get stumped on the 1st grade questions – it’s the 3rd grade questions). I do like the Penguins on Nick, and ICarly and oh, I really like dancing with the stars, can hardly wait to see who is going to get eliminated or who is going to fake getting ill. I also like America Has Talent (some of those people are really smart –like blowing fire out their …). Then there is quality programming like Operation Repo and other stupid things people do and of course the New Mickey Mouse Club.. In conclusion, I do not have any physical problems that would make me funny.
Mental problems, no, no mental problems I can think of. My wife thinks it is a bit odd when I walk up to complete strangers and engage them in conversations. I’m just trying to be friendly. It is easy walk up to some one who is wearing loafers and tell them their shoes are untied, great ice breaker. Then you can discuss just about anything, the ratio of moon to sky, the shape of clouds, the time it took for them to realize they are wearing loafers. All kinds of ways to get to know your fellow person (wanted to be politically correct). No, I do not think I have any mental problems.
I ask you, am I funny? I’m sure your response will be “Not At All”. So what is it with my wife, that she thinks I’m funny? Last week for example, I had been dealing with two older ladies, a mother and daughter duo. I described one as being older than the hills (a phrase I picked up from my wife) and the other as being the hills. My wife seemed to think that was odd, I was trying to be descriptive, after all it was her phrase I used.
The call is yours, 1-800- wha-tadope.
Thank for your indulgence lovelies...men, you can't live with them and you can't shoot um and get away with it.