Thursday, September 2, 2010

The tale of the turtle amBush

Okay lovelies, we have a treat for you today. A guest blogger with a story to tell. Honest....this is Sweet Man who wrote this not me.

I’m writing to you from my grave. I ended up here as the result of, no let me tell the story the way it is meant to be told.

On an afternoon in late summer I was working to clean out a flower bed in our back yard. I had been working in the back yard all day long, first mowing then trimming then racking the yard. I had moved around the grandkids fort and the glass yard table where we would gather in the evenings to enjoy a meal or play games.

I wondered, let’s get to the incident that caused my demise.

It obvious I was not dressed in my best, but in an old pair of jeans, a soiled and stained shirt, my old yard shoes, and gloves.

As I knelt on the ground scraping the old dead leaves from under the bushes with my hands it happened, yes I was attacked by a knife wielding turtle.

Yes I said turtle, my wife has been raising turtles for years and this was one of the bad ones. He was dressed in loose fitting jeans, a baggy shirt. That said turtle rule and a small baseball cap with a turtle skull and cross bones across embroidered on the cap. In his right claw he had a 6 inch stainless steel knife with an ivory handle. He first slashed at my right arm but I was too fast for him.

As I attempted to stand, he inserted his nasty 12 inch long super sharp knife into my left forearm. Oh! The pain, I tried to push up from the ground but the pain, I could not put any pressure on my arm.


With a second lurch the turtle drove his 16 inch long rusty knife into my forearm again, the pain, the pain. I called out for help but not help came. I fell back to the ground face down in the flower bed. The turtle sauntered up to my face and said “now gringo you die, you die at the hands of the garden king Moco Mucho.”

That is my story and I’m going to stick with it to my dying days.

You see what I have to deal with here in Casa de Loco. Sweet Man has been in a mood for the last few days......and this came from too much time on his hands or inspiration....or loco weed. Who knew. Now I think he is going to blog under the Stuft Shirts part of my company name.....que loco but a cutie anywho.

11 comments:

  1. Knife wielding turtles, huh? Sounds just as dangerous as the 25 pound snapper I caught one time. Actually, it's because of that darned turtle I have back problems today.

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  2. ~attack of the turtles...maybe they are not so sweet and cute as i thought...yikes! healing blessings for your wound and blessings to you and yours~

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  3. Got plenty of night shade...come on over and we'll all smoke some "loco" weed!! LOL

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  4. Gotta watch those turtles...they'll sneak up on you at the worst moments...

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  5. I love you all but I went back and re posted with a disclaimer.....Sweet Man wrote this not me. Crazy man has Blog envy....we'll see what we can do for him.

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  6. Your hubby is as funny as you are Linda!
    I didn't know there were evil turtless?!
    I thought they were really cuddly little creatures :-(

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  7. Hee hee, the turtles are obviously evil!

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  8. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    Now everytime I see a turtle I am going to picture it dressed that way and carrying a big knife! HAHAHAHAHA
    ♥ audrey

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  9. Bwahaha... that's one mean turtle!

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  10. He was just protecting his turf, man.

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  11. SM and you must keep your household in stitches. Love the image of the turtle - it would make a great painting...Although I do remember mutant ninja turtles from a while back.

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