Monday, November 15, 2010

My Anniversary present.............

39 years ago next week, Joe Joe Panoe, alias Sweet Man and I will celebrate our anniversary by going to an overnight at Isleta Pueblo's Hard Rock Casino and Hotel. We were given the room by a client at his new job. Pretty cool, huh? We can take a roll of quarters and live it up. We don't gamble and we don't drink much so I'm hoping for a show of some sort but who knows.....just being together will be fun.

I think I have told you this story way back when, but it bears repeating because every year, I am reminded of what a fool child I am. Let me explain......

Growing up, my father, the meanest man in the world and also the cheapest, would not let us set up any kind of Christmas tree be it real, aluminum or fake green until after the 20th of December. And my mother, always the superstitious one, would make us take down the tree before New Years Day. Short lived holidays for us. He always said he didn't like the mess, the trouble and the to do of it all. Scrooge. She said that her mother would turn over in her grave if she knew the tree was up at the same time as the black eyed peas were cooking for good luck. Whew what a combo they were. Everyone else would start their holiday decorating right after Thanksgiving and I was always so envious. And green is not a good color on me.

So when Sweet Man and I got married a month before Christmas eve, I told him, he never had to buy me an anniversary gift, so long as he never told me when I could or couldn't put up or take down the Christmas tree. And when I was young and energetic, the tree went up on Thanksgiving evening. And I would take it down around the first weekend in January. Long enough to be a fire hazard and drop all of the needles it could.

This arrangement seemed to be the perfect one. In fact I started putting up trees for all holidays. Never a peep from Sweet Man. He was happy as a pig in mud. Never had to shop for just the right gift. Never had to guess what size and not be in trouble for guessing wrong. One year he sent flowers and I was scared to death thinking something was seriously wrong with him.

So here's the quote Dierks Bentley, I know what I was feeling, but what was I thinking??????????????

I now have a man untrained in the gifting skills that should be second nature to a man who has been married this long. He is vague on the concept. And I'm not talking about just an anniversary gift shortage here. He thinks that this "deal" I cut him extends to all holidays, birthdays, etc. Gee I wonder, if I quit with all the holiday decorating, you think maybe he would quit with the gift shortage behavior? Nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, you can teach an old dogs new tricks but those poor unfortunates with testosterone poisoning are beyond help.

Happy Anniversary Linda. It's not about the presents or lack of them (cow puckees). It's about the deal lived up to and honored. What was I thinking???


  1. Linda, I think this is a great story. So sorry about the Christmas tree business when you were young. Gosh, that was a big part of the whole Christmas thing and you got cheated! BUT, you've made up for it big time with all the trees you put up and the length of time that they stay up.
    It might be a little early, but I want to wish you the HAPPIEST ANNIVERSARY!!!! I think it's great that you two are going off together for the night. Have fun (wink ~ wink)!
    WOW!! 39 years of wedded bliss!!! Congratulations!!
    ♥ audrey

  2. Well, I wish you a wonderful anniversary. As for gifts, we've stopped giving them because what else do we need? Little goodies for Christmas, but we like to just go out somewhere for our anniversary - or not!
    What's important is what goes on at home, that you're happy with your trees is what really matters. OK, he could bring you a flower now and then, but after 39 years, he's probably stuck in his ways!!! Having your own way about things is not a bad gift either!
    All the best! XO

  3. 39 years. Congratulations!!!! Hubby and I solved the gift giving problem by giving each other money. I know it is not romantic, but after years of returning items that don't fit or I don't need and he as well, we decided to give each other something we can both And even though we both give each other the same amount, we still exchange it in a card. Feels like it is really a gift that way.

  4. Hi Linda. I've come to visit on Colenic's advice and after one post I'm hooked. This was a great post. There are pros and cons to every man I Hope you come visit me as well.

  5. Have a wonderful, happy anniversary. Off alone, no kids.... On our anniversary my DH would give me one rose for every year we had been married. On our 29th year, I had to tell him no more, or he would kill me. The aroma was so strong and I am slightly allergic and I could not take any more. I got a cruise on our 30th, and since then it has been dinner out. We stopped gifting for other occasions years ago as we don't need anything. Sorry about the ramble, just remembering and thinking - dangerous to do first thing in the morning.

  6. Actually, I think you made a great deal. How many wives must put up with a man who just flat out forgets. At least yours can't be accused of ever "forgetting", he has a contract, and 39 years says a bunch about his caring. I'd much rather be shown than bought.
    Congrats big time and have a wonderful time. Hope the shows are great and the alone time together wonderful.

  7. Funny how stuff that bugged us as kids then becomes part of what bugs us later. Having a good man beside you, that you still like being with, is the biggest gift of all! Happy anniversary! Enjoy each other!.... and then go pick something nice out and tell him that he is giving it to you!

  8. goodness 39 years.. congrats to both of you... enjoy your time away next week... know its not directly from hubby but at least you are sort of going somewhere,....

  9. I think Susan has a good time the two of you are shopping or even if you go by yourself...pick something out and tell Sweet Man that it's from him for whatever you happen to be celebrating...

    by the way...Happy Anniversary...39's pretty good...we hit 40 last August...

  10. Happy Anniversary. I always find the best gifts for myself. Then, when my Mr. Rock compliments how cool it is...I remind him that he gave it to me!!!

  11. Happy Anniversary Linda! Hope you have a wonderful time with sweet man!
    xoxo Donna

  12. Lol, I think after 39 you may be onto a loser with the gift giving! But hey, I like the idea of gifting yourself and 'reminding' him :oD

    Happy anniversary, enjoy your night away (hey, maybe he'll win you $millions ;o) )

  13. Happy Anniversary to you and JOE, Linda. I like being married although we are only 29 years, we still are happy and laugh together. I hope you have many more years of happiness and xmas trees. Enjoy life Linda!!

  14. 39 loving years is something to celebrate! I'm with the group who believes gifting yourself and then telling SM it's from him will work! Denny and I stopped giving each other gifts when we hit the road due to lack of space, although I still get jewelry for my birthday. Instead, when we indulge in new golf clubs or some such we just say "Happy Anniversary!" or "Merry Christmas!" Works for us.

  15. ~happy early anniversary!!! 39 years and many many more to come...enjoy your little adventure to be what my friend are not alone!!! much l♥ve and light upon you always~

  16. I'm late to the party here. I also married a man who has no concept of gift giving but I blame his upbringing. I won't go into what a mean and stingy man his father is (and who finally disowned his first born and his family when our unmarried daughter got pregnant with the help of the guy she had been living with for a year, the granddaughter he couldn't even be bothered to call on her birthday or any other time for that matter) and his mother abandoned ship leaving the kiddies behind when my promised one was 9. I would always buy him gifts for his birthday and hannakah and never got any in return. We would buy gifts for the kids together until they got teenagey, then I did it. I didn't expect gifts for anniversaries or valentines or mother's day cause it also freed me from having to buy gifts for him and I think capitalism has stuck it's ugly head into too many things and made it about the present and not about the event. But I expected a present on my birthday at least especially considering the big whoop I made of his birthday, he who no one before me made a big whoop of it. Feeling pressured, one holiday he bought me perfume. Perfume? You bought me perfume? Me who does not wear any kind of scent ever, who does not wear make-up, who does not dye or mess with my hair? finally, I just quit buying him presents and now I buy my own birthday present. that way I get what I want and no one gets put on the spot. btw, our daughter never did get married, not officially with a wedding and she is still with her husband and they have four kids now and have been together for almost 15 years now.


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