|I go here to ponder in my mind....yeah my secret place.|
Now on to the new word. I hashed through my thoughts at each choosing and something felt wrong about the whole intentionality of the other three words that were up for consideration, but this one feels right.
the merging of melt and weld
to blend, merge, unite
Meld is an old word. It is a word of Brighid. It is a strong word with power in the saying of it and also the doing of it.
I have a need to meld within myself, my environment, my feelings, my family, my heart. In the melding of the components that are both positive and negative I can at last be whole. I also know that the process of melding will not be all lollipops and roses but I can at last be all that I should be, to me.
I have for all of my life tried to be for everyone around me. I can no longer do that, as I am scattered in so many ways. I will put me first this year of 2011. I will put myself together.....I would say again, but that has never been true. For the first time in my entire life, I will be whole, happier, alive and ready to be who I need to be.
I am a fortunate one that I have found the multiple blessings of friendship, kinship and love. This too will make me able to MELD, melt myself together and then weld the whole one that I desire to be.
2011 will be a hard year for those around me who have always depended on me to do for them. They will have a chance at last years word....opportunity to find that they can do it all. This year our family will face some pretty unpleasant legal and personal trevails. This is another reason "Oma Bear", as one of you has called me, needs to be whole, pulled together and stronger than the parts of me, as they exist at this moment. I shall support not do for others.
I hope that each of you finds strength, power, love, understanding and joy, mostly joy in the coming of a New Year. I am blessed by the knowing of each of you, I hope I have given you a laugh or pause to think or just a moment that we had together and that is ever in my heart.
Don't forget............Celebrate OZ is coming soon. I can hardly wait, how 'bout you???