Many times in life we are confronted with "things" that happen which end up shaping our character. And even if we can't see it at the time we should be grateful for the stretching and shaping those "things" bring us to.
Now we can think of them in several different ways.
1 is trauma,
2 is drama,
3 is background noise,
4 obstacles in the road.
All of these are parts of our life experience. They come from past and present, education and experience, trial and error and hard knocks.
Most of the trauma in my life was endured and is now is past.
Most of the drama in my life has been beyond my control and is centered around others that I like, love or know.
Most of the background noise comes in a couple of ways. From folks who either have all the answers in the world (and I haven't even asked the damnable questions yet) and the folks who don't move their lips when they speak because they use alternative orifices with which to communicate. And the other being stress, be it good or bad.
Most of the obstacles in the road, I have encountered thus far have been of my own making. That is to say, I have made choices that have a cost attached and I have been easy going or lazy enough to have allowed bad behavior and not corrected it immediately. On the other hand I tend to be a person who hands out the rope and then let's others hang themselves as well. And because of my choices, there are some bodies swinging on the yard arm in my life.
I had a TIA (mini stroke) 2 Friday's ago. This has given me pause to think (with what's left of my thinker) that I don't want to waste anymore time having to just put up with offensive, invasive or hurtful behavior no matter the source. At 6 decades plus, I don't want to have to keep explaining myself and my rationale for the way I live my life to anyone, be they friend or foe, relative or stranger, real or phony.
Life is too effing short to settle when I can be enjoying life and making myself and my family happy. I don't regret one single thing that has happened to, for, about, with or because of me. All of it has brought me to being me at this moment in time where I feel like the smoke is finally clearing and I am no longer in the haze of making myself "be nice" and allowing things to adversely affect me.
I have for all of GK and Ry's lives harped about the fact that "being nice matters". It does, but not at the expense of your scruples, heart or well being. No, I'll have no more of it sports fans. I'm done and have burned the "door mat", rubbed the name "patsy" off my forehead and am anxious to just relax and be me. I have my moccasins and you have yours. I will honor the fact that yours don't fit me and you can do the same for me or keep on moving.
I was saved by the grace of southern charm. NOT hardly and I can just hear my Mom saying her don't be ugly Linda Sybil routine right about now. And to that I say "Hush Momma, I've got this one covered all on my very own."
The songs on my playlist are of a particular bent right now because I have an homage to the upcoming nuptials of Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert on the 12th of May. I love that Junk Gypsies (if you haven't been to their sight do so, it's fabu) are the wedding planners. I can hardly wait to see what all that loveliness will look like.
Thanks for reading the rant lovelies......it's much clearer in here now.