Sunday, May 8, 2011

Let's open a window and clear out some smoke, shall we?

Many times in life we are confronted with "things" that happen which end up shaping our character. And even if we can't see it at the time we should be grateful for the stretching and shaping those "things" bring us to.

Now we can think of them in several different ways.
1 is trauma,
2 is drama,
3 is background noise,
4 obstacles in the road.
All of these are parts of our life experience. They come from past and present, education and experience, trial and error and hard knocks. 

Most of the trauma in my life was endured and is now is past.

Most of the drama in my life has been beyond my control and is centered around others that I like, love or know.

Most of the background noise comes in a couple of ways. From folks who either have all the answers in the world (and I haven't even asked the damnable questions yet) and the folks who don't move their lips when they speak because they use alternative orifices with which to communicate. And the other being stress, be it good or bad.

Most of the obstacles in the road, I have encountered thus far have been of my own making. That is to say, I have made choices that have a cost attached and I have been easy going or lazy enough to have allowed bad behavior and not corrected it immediately. On the other hand I tend to be a person who hands out the rope and then let's others hang themselves as well. And because of my choices, there are some bodies swinging on the yard arm in my life.

I had a TIA (mini stroke) 2 Friday's ago. This has given me pause to think (with what's left of my thinker) that I don't want to waste anymore time having to just put up with offensive, invasive or hurtful behavior no matter the source. At 6 decades plus, I don't want to have to keep explaining myself and my rationale for the way I live my life to anyone, be they friend or foe, relative or stranger, real or phony.

Life is too effing short to settle when I can be enjoying life and making myself and my family happy. I don't regret one single thing that has happened to, for, about, with or because of me. All of it has brought me to being me at this moment in time where I feel like the smoke is finally clearing and I am no longer in the haze of making myself "be nice" and allowing things to adversely affect me.

I have for all of GK and Ry's lives harped about the fact that "being nice matters". It does, but not at the expense of your scruples, heart or well being. No, I'll have no more of it sports fans. I'm done and have burned the "door mat", rubbed the name "patsy" off my forehead and am anxious to just relax and be me. I have my moccasins and you have yours. I will honor the fact that yours don't fit me and you can do the same for me or keep on moving.

I was saved by the grace of southern charm. NOT hardly and I can just hear my Mom saying her don't be ugly Linda Sybil routine right about now. And to that I say "Hush Momma, I've got this one covered all on my very own."

The songs on my playlist are of a particular bent right now because I have an homage to the upcoming nuptials of Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert on the 12th of May. I love that Junk Gypsies (if you haven't been to their sight do so, it's fabu) are the wedding planners. I can hardly wait to see what all that loveliness will look like.

Thanks for reading the rant lovelies......it's much clearer in here now.

22 comments:

  1. You just be whoever you want to be and take care of you.

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  2. My goodness, please take care of your health. I've been thinking about life a lot myself lately and have also come to some decisions. Hoping you had a great Mother's Day.
    Mary

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  3. Braaaavooooo. I am going to share your list of four with each of my daughters (who get hung up on drama and background noise often). Maybe they won't get it til after their half century mark, but Mama is the eternal optimist. :)

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  4. Hey, Linda, you know your own heart. BE LINDA THROUGH AND THROUGH!! LOVE YOURSELF and we'll all love you, too.
    Audrey

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  5. "folks who don't move their lips when they speak because they use alternative orifices with which to communicate" -- hahahahaha, perfect! I know some of those too.

    You just do whatever you damn well want. You've earned the right!

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  6. take care of you! I still have to fix my printer and send you that pattern damn it lol
    people talking out of their asses are like most of the people in my office, I now just sit there and do my work fuck them i only tell the blogging world what I am up to these days i have had enough of bullshit and doormating
    Love you Linda please take care of you
    blessed be!!!

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  7. Well said my friend. Please take care of your health and self. It sounds like your mental well being is in control and this 60 plus woman is in total agreement that you have earned the right to rant or anything else you damn well want.

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  8. "rubbed the name patsy off my forehead"--I remember that phrase dropped from your lips more than once when we first met. While I'm sorry that a TIA was the final impetus for your decision, I'm glad it strengthened your resolve.

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  9. So sorry about your TIA but it certainly shook loose the baggage we all tend to carry. Enjoy your new smoke free environment. Great post.

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  10. Linda, pay attention to that TIA. you don't want to keep having them. believe me, I know. now, about those mean people. when I turned 50, that was one of the things I changed about my life. I would no longer tolerate mean people. when I see it happening, I interfere. when it happens to me, I walk away. I'm not obligated to be anybody's target. and neither are you.

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  11. It's really something that you blogged about this. Just the other day, I had decided this very same thing. I'm 50 something and I'm wondering now if this epithame comes when you reach a certain age. I've wiped the word "door mat" out of my life and I've decided to stop pretending to be nice and nodding my head and just saying "okay". I decided last week to just be me. I'm sick and tired of always being the one to walk away, or suppress my opinions or speak my mind. I decided last week to do whatever I damn well pleased and I don't care if it's "politically correct" or not! hahahahaha I'm so glad you are feeling like this also. :) But I am concerned at the TIA a couple weeks ago and I certainly hope you are alright...damn that sounds scary. ((Hugs))

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  12. Please please please take care of yourself Linda, a TIA is a very scary thing. Hugs to you my friend.

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  13. Holy Crap, woman!! You never mentioned it the other day on the phone!!! But then of course, I was too busy telling you about my stupid gar-bage!!! You've given much food for thought and it will be slowly ingested.

    First on the list, don't let anyone, and I mean anyone, get me down...or else!! Ya know who I'm talking about...that which lives in your state up the road from this TX girl!! LOL

    Take care, my friend, and I'll be calling soon. Remember, have to head out to Phoenix this week for nieces' graduation...a road trip with my mother....pray for me!! LOL

    Loves ya,
    G

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  14. You've got to stick to your guns and just be you. You've been through your share of shit and have definitely earned the right to be Nothin' but Linda. If people don't like it, they can hop on the next train out of here. I'm glad for the epiphany, but sad that it came on the tail end of such a scary event. Take care of yourself my dear. *hug*

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  15. Well Linda...I hope you are going to be okay without much harm from your TIA...and you be whatever it takes to keep you around here for a while longer...your family needs you...

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  16. Linda, excellent post for all of us to take note of! As everyone else has said: Good for you, and be good TO you! Sending you hugs and wishes for good health, and peace of mind! Love ya!!! Robin.

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  17. TIA? WTH?!! Right, that's it, you get up there and be you right this second, and to hell with everyone else.

    Right enough I've had a few comments that I can be very 'direct', and a suggestion or two that that might be why I'm single, but hell, that's how my family is, so if someone can't love me for it, well, they don't deserve me (or perhaps that's couldn't put up with me ;o) )

    Hope you're now super healthy going forward, and if not, we'll haunt your doctors...

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  18. Linda, this is a fantastic post! And, I appreciate it so much! Something made me come to your blog today and I am so thank-ful I did! I needed what said! My mom did too! Good for you!! I am proud of you!! I wish you many blessings and good health!

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  19. Very thought provoking post, Linda. Good on you! Sorry to hear about your mini stroke, that must have been very frightening. Glad it was mini. HOpe you are doing well.

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  20. that was beautifully written!
    good for you!!!!!!!!

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  21. Oh Linda, I hate that you have had TIA's. I'm going to be selfish here and ask you to please take care of yourself because I love having you around to inspire, entertain and send out the energy of what a real human being is into this world of constant chaos and sleep-walking souls who sadly, think they are wide awake. I have spent my entire adult life pondering and arguing with myself over these very issues you are speaking of. I know that it so so unhealthy physically, mentally and spiritually to behave one way on the outside when the real me is a completely different person. This has been an issue with my in-laws that after 22 years, I find myself becoming resentful toward them, when all along it really has been my own fault for allowing their behavior and trying to appear to be what they want. I applaud you for this final decision and hope to walk in your moccasins with you. Thank you for posting this. It has really given me perspective.

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  22. I am so glad the mini-stroke was a mini. How scary, but like you said, an opportunity as well to take stock of what's going on and adjust if need be. Stay around, ok? The world will be a little less awesome without you in it :-)

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