Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Update on the boy...........

Yesterday my daughter went to the gathering of all the learned folks (with tongue in cheek) who were presenting Ry's ADOS test results. His occupational therapist, speech pathologist, fake (only an intern and clueless to boot) special ed teacher, regular classroom teacher and the special education representative from the school district (his advocate????) and my daughter.

1st, I must report that each of these people indicated that Ry is a sweet boy. And the ADOS testing did confirm that he is on the Autism spectrum.

Each person had a moment to voice their observations of Ry. To the last person reporting, the comment was he can't make eye contact, does not have peer interaction or if he does it is inappropriate, has language difficulty and can't sit still. And????????

They indicated that he tries very hard at what he does get accomplished, wants to please, is funny, affable and they like him. Ok????????????

Once again I have to say, have they read the diagnosis for PDD-NOS, HFA or Asperberger's? So basically they just said what the reports findings were. So confirmed and confirmed. What we have known since he was an infant is true. He has an ADOS but still  does not have a qualified medical diagnosis for his placement on the Autism spectrum. pardon me while I gather my composure again.

Shel came through the door and said, "well that's two hours I won't get back in my life". Now to the real frustrations.

His special ed. teacher intern said the complete opposite of what she had been sending home in the daily reports in this meeting because the big kahuna was there. She has said how he never finishes his work, needs to work on his behavior, his attentiveness, his eye contact, his interpersonal skills......and in the meeting said he is doing so well in her class. Can I just say.......kiss ass. Because Friday when Shel went into the classroom the intern reported to her that Ry had a bad day because he had gotten into it with two classmates. One a boy that is his friend and he argued (oooooooooooh no) over a toy and the other incident, a bossy little know it all who has a crush on him (I watched them play before) just told him how the cow ate the cabbage one too many times and he yelled at her. Shelley asked if either had turned physical and the intern said no and Shel (good for her) said well good, see at least he used his words. And walked off.

His speech therapist has been sending reports home that say the good he has done (minimal), the bad he must correct (substantial) and all of these are behaviors not speech related. Ry let us know last week that she (the speech person) was teaching him how to be good. I thought Shelley was going to come unglued. She told him he was good and that no one needed to teach him that. Then explained that he would always have to try harder to have good behavior but that he was good. (damn grownups and their lack of caring how a kid hears what they say). The speech person's biggest gripe was that he won't make eye contact. Once again yay for Shelley. She let the speech person and everyone else in the room know, that for a child with autism, it is almost impossible for them to do that. The speech teacher said she couldn't understand why not. (big ass mistake on her part). Shelley gave them the name of the DVD for teachers in the classroom dealing with children with Autism that is required for the staff to have watched in order to work with Autism kids and said that one particular section deals with this issue. "If a child with autism makes eye contact then that is what they are concentrating on and cannot answer what you ask or require of them. If you avert your eyes, they will be able to accomplish the task without the painful distraction of trying to read your face at the same time. The speech person just sat there. (giant duh monster, I'd like to have the opportunity to teach her how to be good)

His regular classroom teacher (older and wiser) said he is really trying, is doing above grade level work and has gone from a non reader or writer to a catch up situation and will be going into a blended 1st/2nd classroom. She said he is very good at being polite and has learned to take turns and share. Hey touchdamndown.

Autism specialist reported that she and the autism team really enjoyed their time with Ry because he is quite the charmer and they can tell by his sense of humor that he is enriched at home and feels safe. Thank the Gods.....we did something good for our boy. And that he definately is on the spectrum.

13 comments:

  1. People fixate on such silly stuff, don't they? Such as making eye contact -- like it's the be-all and end-all of existence! All it is (in fact) is cultural. Our culture values direct eye contact. Other cultures (like aboriginal cultures) do not -- they find it aggressive and rude. So why do people get so worked up about it?

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  2. I'm so sorry for your boy, your daughter and your family because you have to go through all the frustration of not getting info. and answers when you need it. I struggled with different issues with my son and understand how painful it is not to be able to help that's needed.
    Sending you all many, many blessings of strength, endurance, and faith, Linda

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  3. Sweet Isis!! I am completely baffled by these so-called "professionals". I don't know how your daughter got through that meeting without bopping someone upside the head. And that Ry has to deal with these....um....morons. That being said, I am hoping he will have better teachers next year, and not have to put up with judgmental B>S> Blessings to all, and hugs too, and here's some chocolate. Robin.

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  4. Do you think that any progress was made from the meeting?

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  5. It is a shame how adults don't bother to realize how their children or other children actually hear and interpret what is said either to them or, more importantly, around them within earshot. It happens all too frequently AT HOME in families where there is much dysfunction including but not limited to intentional manipulation and lies about various people, places and things. What's really sad is that one day the actions of these adults and their words will cause the children to resent their parents or other caregivers. It's sad. I've been there. My step-father was an ASS!

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  6. this was just to get a diagnosis? there was purpose beyond everyone standing around and saying...yup?

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  7. Linda I don't know how all of you keep your patience with these teachers! What does it matter if he makes eye contact? He is loved and a beautiful child! I wish you, your family and Ry so much and more! Many blessings ;o)

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  8. I am sitting her with my fingers poised over this keyboard because I am just dumbfounded that these are the people in charge of a very major decision in Ry's life and they are so ignorant. I applaud your control to not go up there and kick their asses.

    Ry is so lucky to have the devoted and loving family he has. If not for your constant support and affirmations, how would he ever be able to tolerate such cold and harsh "adults". And I do use that term loosely in this case. He truly has the heart of a lion.

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  9. It must be awful sitting through that. He is still so young and has so much time to grow and learn. We decided to focus on only the good things about our son...... gave the bad stuff no juice at all. That's what we all want in our own lives........

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  10. I can feel your frustration screaming off your post. My youngest was in a "special ed" program for math, it just doesn't comprehend it. I've had countless meeting with the same group of people you did. They talk out of both sides of their mouth and nothing gets accomplished. My youngest was allowed to slip through the cracks and still hasn't graduated because he cannot pass the Minnesota standard testing requirements for math. You may need to look for some alternative learning environments, other than the public school system. My mouth is gapped open right now and I'm feeling speechless. I'm so sorry...

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  11. Yay for the home team! I realize teachers may feel overwhelmed at times with all the special needs children that now are mainstreamed but to be so oblivious to the basic behavior patterns of autistic children? Wow.

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  12. Sounds like someone's improving :) shame it can't be said about ALL the teaching dudes, sounds like there's a few dumb asses with degrees in the education system!

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  13. I'd like to say that showing ignorance might relieve idiot #1 (the intern) and idiot #2 (the speech therapist) from 'teaching' anyone until they had down some learning of their own. Alas in my world (big banking business) that doesn't happen, and I don't imagine it will happen there either - grrrrr. Hate incompetence that is enabled by senior people who can't be bothered to deal with the issues (hmm, wonder if that turned more into my rant, sorry!)

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