Thursday, January 19, 2012

Creedance Clearwater's singing.......

I see the bad moon's a risin', I see trouble on the way,

I have shared in past blogs, the possession by evil forces of my appliances and systems and their failure to ward off the death knoll peeling out from the universe as of late. Remember the new washing machine with the pliers stuck down into the little do hicky that makes the machine agitate because the lid is shut but it didn't work and I applied my higher hill billy ways to fix it? It all started then and hasn't improved over the last few months.

But to state it more succinctly..the washing machine, the dryer, the stove top, the manifold intact on my car, the back bathroom sink and under plumbing, the kitchen sink (twice), the drain in the laundry room, the garage door opener and now the entire waste water pipe system under the house have banded together to form a conspiracy of epic proportion on our heretofore dwindling emergency fund formerly known as our retirement. Each of these items has died a very dramatic death. Calling particular attention to the inconvenience that each could give to each and every member of this family.

Clothes first didn't get clean, bought a washer. 91 days after our purchase with a 90 day warranty, it stopped working again. Got a replacement part.....crossing fingers.
The dryer got jealous and started screaming. When the repairman came, it just quit working all together. Bought another dryer.
I started having to cook 3 minute eggs for 8 minutes in order to not eat raw ones. Put a new part in and am hoping for a few more months of service.
The engine light went on in my car. First time anything has had to be replaced on my 2007 car besides routine maintenance. I only have 32,000 miles on it. Yes, I am the little old lady mobile driver. The repair was going to be $3500.00. What??? So the pit bull I am married to called Chrysler and did his magic and it ended up costing us $100.00. Gotta love a guy with that much tenacity and knowledge of the car industry.
Got trapped in the garage one afternoon when the thing wouldn't go up. That was fun. Easy fix but sheesh.
Shelley's washing dishes, turns on the disposal and water floods the kitchen. Fixed the U joint. 2 weeks later Shelley is again washing dishes and yep, we're doing the backstroke in the kitchen again. Got all the pipes replaced under the sink. Same situation in the day the entire floor was wet. Got a new sink and plumbing on that one.
And then we were washing clothes and that water backed up and we were bailing in the laundry room and water is flowing into the garage, good thing we had already fixed the garage door thing by then.

We have had to clean the drains in this house so often I have the drain people on speed dial. When my folks built this house 50 years ago, the man who build it, did a crap job of duh huh? But is gets worse. There is a dip in the waste water pipes. That means that it just sits in the pipes instead of moving out to the sewer line. These pipes are cast iron and falling apart I am typing this, there are terrible strange noises going on under my house. I hope they win the war on this one cuz it's sounds like no one is taking prisoners down there. And before anyone says, yes but Linda are you sure they really needed to be replaced? Uhhhh yeah for years but the last quote I had was so much I just shut down and knew it would be an inevitable thing. Luckily for us, one of Shelley's customers from the restaurant is a plumber who is giving us "the friends and family" discount or we would have already been on can't do it street.

I'm not bitching. I'm just reporting the abandon ship attitude permeating the premises. And yet, the people are doing remarkably well and happy and pretending we don't notice that the "things" we own are rebellious at best and traitorous at worst. So if you hear about an implosion in my neck of the woods.....ya knew beforehand.


  1. Ahhhh, you're having what I call a "light a match" situation. When everything goes at once I just wanna light a match and get the fuck outta there.

  2. Holy crap that's a lot of, well, crap to have happened.

    I'm starting to think Shelley doesn't like doing dishes though... just saying ;o)

  3. You're on pier and beam I hope.

    Modern conveniences are just high maintenance. You fix one thing and then something else needs attention. Some things are just recurrent. Sometimes I think life would be so much easier if we just lived in a cave.

  4. As the owner of The Beast AKA the Fatal Flaw, I can sympathize with your current situation. We went through a lot of similar plumbing issues at my mother's house although those were caused by invasive maple tree roots. Tain't fun.

    I guess you can look at it as blog fodder, right? ;)

  5. OMG!!! Your stuff is out to get you. Run for the hills. It does seem like you have a major war between man and machine happening and I feel for you. Everything in my house is getting to that age where you keep your fingers crossed when you press the start button.

  6. Wow, your really are as* deep in a "boils and sores" period as I call them. They do come and eventually do go but you seem to be in a hundred year type of event.
    I do hope you are at or near the end of your troubles. Hang in.

  7. Oh Lady, you had me cackling and crying at the same time!!! It seems who ever put in your plumbing, must have done a stint down here in El Paso!! As you know, I married into this house and it too is about 50+ years old. It's been a nightmare with the sewer pipes. We don't have one of those new-fangle types on the ground, so if they have to clean them out, it's up on the roof and dig down to the ground...what a mess!!

    Also, I had to laugh at your garage door story. Many moons ago, in another galaxy far far away, on the other side of town, I was in a big rush to go somewhere, escapes me now, but I forgot to open the garage door...put the Jeep Wagoner into reverse...yea, you'd think the dark garage would have tipped me off!! At least we replaced the door with a nice metal one...that wooden one was already weathered and sagging!!

    Yep, we've all had those "bad moons arising," but I prefer, as we all do, to just hum along!!

    Loves ya mucho,

  8. Linda, you are in deep do-do!!! It might be really stinky where you are living soon, but I hope not!! Sending out some good positive energy to you!! And, if that doesn't work, start kicking everything! Hugs ;o)

  9. Ahhh finally I found a place where I can send you a comment. All the other blogs go blank when I try to comment.
    I hope you are feeling better. I wanted to wish you well after your last post, but didn't get the chance.
    I love the donkey pictures on your other blog ; )
    Have a magical day.

  10. I must say you have been tested by these alien machines we store in our homes....yes we do need them ...but they can all be cantankerous. I say go and take a nap for now...then when you are more refreshed tackle on task at a time. Cussing works for me too! Peace, Mary Helen Fernandez Stewart

  11. I just used this song on my facebook page to illustrate a poltergeist problem I've been having. A painting jumped off the wall at 3am and scared me shitless the other night...
    bad moon arising indeed.

  12. Oh my goodness! I am truly sorry to hear about your renegade appliances and plumbing, VERY happy that sweet man is a pit bull when the situation calls for one and am so grateful you know someone who will give you a friends and family discount. Dan just had to dig us a new whatever you call it, for our kitchen sink drain. Girl, sometimes I think it'd be cheaper to rent. Thank goodness you have enough love around that house of yours with all the beautiful people, the fairies, gnomes, etc, that you can all go on with calm hearts. ;-) Many hugs your way!

  13. Our dishwasher is currently possessed by some evil spirit or another. We had a successful exorcism tonight so hopefully it will work a while longer . . . .


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