Saturday, April 7, 2012

And they looked so pretty......

Shelley and GK were invited to a wedding. It was being held at one of the big casinos at the northern tip of Albuquerque. The views from the place are so breathtaking. Very close to the foot of the Sandia Mountains. Wedding at 6pm and dinner to follow, sounded like a great evenings date for my two beauties. GK was very excited to be wearing heeled shoes and a strappy dress. So cute and 11. Momma Shelley doesn't get to dress up very often and when she does, like all girlie girls, it's a treat.

It is interesting how we take for granted the social events that are part and parcel of our lives.  We as a family are rather cut off from lots of social functions like weddings, funerals, etc. for the most part. So this was a new opportunity for GK and one she was looking forward to, very much. But with the dissolution of her own parents marriage being the emphasis in her life right now, I worried that she would have a negative reaction to the wedding.

She said this morning that it was hard listening to all the "talk" of love and staying together. Momma said GK had some really strong emotions and they had to go out of the ceremony for a bit. But went back in and "troopered" through the rest and on to the reception. Where GK got to see adults being stupid when they have had too much to drink. Another experience that is foreign to the family experience here although she did see that when they lived in South Carolina.

As a kid I too had trigger moments and lived through them. Things that were unpleasant and made me grit my teeth. But I feel like those are part of the reason I am who I am. I believe that all of my experiences prepared me for something else that was to happen in my life. Now don't get me wrong, there are somethings I would gladly have skipped if given a chance but, I wouldn't have had the building block information for the next big project in life. So that when GK has her "moments", I try to let her see the good that may come out of them further down the road.

But I must admit that when I see in her eyes the pain of growing up, or knowledge of life, or hurt of experience of something less than pristine and pretty, I ache for the tender heart she is. But I have to keep reminding myself of a story that I heard many years ago.

There once was a young mother who loved her baby boy so much that she never let him go for want of anything. The baby was never wet or cold or hungry for more than an instant. Never left to cry for a second. Never crawled because the young mother carried him everywhere. And when the baby fought to get down to be free of his mother, she held on even tighter until one day she could no longer hold him because he was so big.

When she finally let him down to walk, neither of his legs was strong enough to hold him. He could not walk but fell. His bones were not strong and they broke. He had not experienced pain and could not stop crying. What a sorrow for mother and baby.

My daughter and her children all have cried, learned and are now ready to move on as whole beings, but I would have it not be as painful, if I could.


  1. Oh, if only we were able to remove the possibility of all pain from our chilren/grandchildrens lives. Seeing them in pain whether it be physical or mental is agonising. But, as you said, they must experience all aspects of life in order to understand and deal with whatever comes their way.
    They both look beautiful and in spite of GKs few uncomfortable moments during the wedding, I'm sure being dressed up and attending a special event with Mom was exciting for her.
    Hugs for you and both of your pretty pretty girls.
    ♥ audrey

  2. Beautifully dressed for a wedding, and the shoes are fab.
    We would move heaven and earth for our children, and spare them the hurt that waits out there for them, but then, we keep them from experiencing the joys that also exist.

  3. Very pretty pair :o) Sometimes one has to see that there are good sides to things that we have experienced as bad, and it make require teeth gritting, but it makes us more rounded people

  4. Oh Linda, both of your girls are simply breathtaking. I love their dresses and shoes.

    I too, have often wished I could spare my own children and many that were not my own, from the pain and disillusionment of life.

    I love the story you shared about the boy and it reminded me of another saying - "The two most important things a mother can give a child are first roots and then wings." We always know it is what must be, yet it is so difficult. One thing is certain, yours will never forget how you stood strong and supported them when they needed you most. Hugs, my lovely friend. Mina

  5. Linda, your girls look so beautiful! Your story is very touching. My mom has always said, the hardest job is being a mother, but it's the most rewarding too. She would never change a moment. I know I am not a mother, but I know how much I love my mom. Hugs my friend ;o)

  6. They look precious, and your words makes them shine even brighter. And your final bit of wisdom, my dear Oma, oh how true and how raw.

    Many hugs.


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