Monday, May 6, 2013

I swore the last time was the last time but....................


GK and Ry are such precious little jewels in the crown of life. But then I am prejudice and proud. They also are tender, exposed souls. Both of these children have suffered such ugly things in their short lives. The least of which is their association with a particularly nasty bunch of evil blood relatives.

I said I would not fling insults on this blog again, the last time I did. And I must explain that this is the only way in which I can "communicate" with them. It is also the way to enlist you to send good healing thoughts and prayers for GK, Ry and my Shelley.

When GK, Ry and their Mom left South Carolina. They came with what they could pack into a U haul. All of the household furniture and items were left with Shelly's now ex, in the hopes that he would pack up all the rest and join them here in New Mexico. And I must say, they all did believe that he would join them. And then they hoped he would join them. And then it became apparent to them he would not.

He chose to stay with his girlfriend and mommy instead. And in my mind, I was sure that he had sold off the things so that he could to pay for rent etc because he wasn't working but I never shared that with any of them. 

The children have asked when they would be getting "their things" from SC. It was ordered by the court and part of the divorce decree that he would send their things to them here in NM. But like many other things he was to do, that was not to be. 

They have been here almost 4 years. Attending therapy for 3 1/2 years. Trying to move on down the road from the horror of their unbelievable ordeal at the hands of blood relatives. I say unbelievable and you all think I mean I can't believe that anyone would harm them......and that is true from my point of view. But what I mean really is that he chooses not believe and has let the children know he thinks they are liars. Now tell me my lovelies, why would children make up a story of sexual abuse? To garner sympathy? To not be able to sleep at night? To fear that the perpetrator would come and hurt them again? They came with their story....it did not happen here but there. I know why he doesn't believe them because he can't. A liar is the last to know what is true.

GK's birthday should have been a celebration of a young girl going into the teen years. It turned out to be a remembered betrayal of neglect, abuse and abandonment. Why? Because for the 4th time, he said he would send her something that she had left behind in SC. 1st it was lost in the mail, then it was returned to him, then he sent it out again, then he would send it soon, and lastly he sent it with her birthday card......which arrived in an envelope....nope, the desired, asked for, promised item which was way too big for an envelope, was not there.

My question has and always will be. When you lie and lie, do you not take note of what you have lied about? Do you not realize that the world is watching? Do you not know that you alone have destroyed any amount of trust that you had from those that listen to you? Do you not know that everyone but you is aware of what and who you are?

I had a shit for a father. He would lie when he could have just as easily told the truth. He purposefully hurt people just because it gave him a feeling of superiority and thought everyone else was stupid. He was cruel because he wasn't even careful about his lying. 

I know what it feels like to not want to be the offspring of that kind of evil human animal. And yes, I do know that I lived that particular scenario so that I could be here with this knowledge to help my grands but I never wanted this for my grandchildren. I never wanted to see them cry because nothing that comes from him is anything but a lie. They are still young enough that they want it to be different and cannot come to grips with the truth of it. That's why they are in counseling. I don't say anything to them for fear of what I would say about him and realize that that too has become a problem. They don't want to make me hurt either so they bottle it up around me.

So we all cried for GK's birthday....together. To believe, to know that your father lies with every breath is to not trust him or yourself. To think that you come from nothing makes you .....question how you could be good. Yes, the grands know that they are loved, respected, held to accountability and cherished here.......and that they are safe, but it does not take this evil ugly burden away. If it were so, I would wave my wand and make it so. Trust me, believe me.....I would. I do not generally practice dark magic.....but I can.

It may seem inappropriate to post this on this blog where we have such joyful, fun filled times but I know that you love my grands too. That you want the very best for the grands, my lovelies, my friends, my strength. That means the world to me. Please hold them in your thoughts and prayers.

15 comments:

  1. As hurtful as it may be for those kids the best thing for them is to have no contact whatsoever with their father until they are grown and have the strength and courage to face him. if they want their things then the only way they are going to get them is for you and Shelly to go and get them and ask for a police presence while you are loading the U-Haul. He is never going to send them if he does indeed still have them no matter what the divorce decree says.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That so-called man who is the biological producer of two fantastic children is going to be hit by karma one day so big and so terrible. Until that day, we all keep our positive energy aimed at the kids, Shelly and Oma Linda. Lots of positive healing protective energy. Hugs for GK for her 13th birthday, such a great age! And hugs for GK because of the pain and disappointment her jerk biological producer caused her, both past and present. Gk and Ry deserve all the happiness they are getting in NM with their fab grandparents. Hugs to Shelly and Ry too. And a big hug to you, BB!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. The worse thing a child can learn is that a person who was supposed to protect them (a parent!) is a worthless liar. I know. It hurts. It never completely goes away. But the pain heals when the same child realizes that there are other people (another parent!) who makes the uglies go away.

    I'm happy GK and Ry have you and Shelley. To lost trust at such young age is a terrible thing. I know. It leaves a soul suspicious, a bit alone, and sometimes defiant (in a good way). When we can't trust we know we have to take care of ourselves, so we try harder. It's terrible that things have to be this way, but we must find solace any place we can.

    Breathe, my beloved Oma, cloak yourself and the children in the love of your friends. For we are always with you, sending love and light.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Linda people get what they deserve in life, so don't worry about him. He can try and fool the world with his lies, but he can't fool his own soul.
    Those beautiful children deserve the best in life, and I know you all can help them see that. Throw away all the drama of the past and start fresh. With therapy and time, they will learn to move on, and embrace their future.
    hugs to you and your family
    betty

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sending hugs to all today and may faeries riding donkeys bring bright blessings!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Fucking sperm donors. My nieces will grow up with the same knowledge of their father and one of them will think the same of her mother as well. It's a hard and terrible thing, something no one should ever have to deal with, most of all not children.

    Your grands will always be held close to my heart and my wishes for them are of healing and joy and the ability to move on and realize that their worth isn't dictated by DNA, but themselves. And with time, therapy and the love of You, Shelley and SM I have no doubt they will.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Your grands may not be able to trust their blood-father, but they do know what trust is, thanks to you & their Mom. Yes, he is a person of no honor, living in the blackness of denial. However, he is at least predictable...his behavior does not waver. Something which will come in handy as they mature into adults & 'daddy' tries to scam them. 'Predictable' is much easier to work with than 'unpredictable'.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You've spoken such an enormous truth. I grew up riding the roller coaster that was (and still is) one of my former caregiver's moods, and my goodness I don't wish that on anyone. You just don't know what to do... Have they really changed this, um, 15th time? Is it wishful thinking on your part? Are you dumb for... hoping? Are you heartless for turning your back? And goes up and down and again and again.

      Let's be thankful for the small miracle of predictable jerkwads!

      Delete
  8. I really do hope he read your post. It was scathing and he needs scathed. I am so sorry your daughter and grands are exposed to such a total loser. You are all in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I am sending you prayers ...every night from now on...to wrap these beautiful children in a healing white light. At 13 their awareness is even more poignant...so be sure to be patient if she lashes out at those who love her the very most. Stand guard...give many hugs...say prayers out loud for them to hear...and know how vital you are in their growth and healing process. I am sending you all unconditional love! Peace be with you, Mary Helen Fernandez Stewart

    ReplyDelete
  10. Linda I would love nothing more than to be there to give those beautiful grands of yours as many hugs and kisses as they would allow. I know what it must have felt like for GK to once again believe in someone and then learn it's all a lie. Tell her she's loved and that she's special in so many ways. Talk to you soon. S&S

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oma Linda, your grands are in our prayers! We are sending them a white light for protection and much love! I believe in karma and "he" will get his!!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh honey, his day is coming and when it does everyone better step back as far as they can get because "Lady Karma" as sweet RY calls her, is going to tear him a new one. My heart bleeds for all of you. This is so wrong and my thoughts and love burns brightly for your family. My blessings to you sweetie.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh :( Too sad that innocence is corrupted by these criminals, too sad to think a parasite father and those he 'protects' by rejecting his children's truth roams without the heavy hand of justice taking him and all of these creepy degenerates that harmed the children down to hell. Too bad he's a liar, too bad he's a turd in the gutter of humanity.

    But just as seeds blossom & bloom from manure, the turd has accomplished the only thing worthwhile, fathered two precious blossoms, his job is done, by him staying in their lives the shit will always be near them, giving it access to keep harming them, keep telling razor sharp lies, it's better if What a sad empty fool, yep let him stay with his kind. Don't know what environment it took to produce a scammer, a con-man, a serial liar, someone who stands by while others use his children, hurt his children, molest his children, and then diverts blame... I do know that thanks to the darlin's now being in a safe environment, a loving home, well fed, and treated with the respect they deserve, you have broken the cycle... may their hearts harden to liars so they can no longer rip and tear at their innocence and hurt them continually, but may they still embrace all the joys of life that await them. xoxox

    ReplyDelete

I love to hear from you. Thanks for taking the time to comment.