The decision to stick to just the one blog has made me very happy. Threw that bit of guilt for the other blogs being neglected away and now I have flashes of subjects, storytelling and consciousness flow going on. It is a remarkable thing letting go of what you cannot do and finding freedom. I was reminded of how I used to be before I kicked myself in the rear and got my head at least back on my neck.....not completely but you get it.
For many years I had pictured myself going about picking up guilt off the ground as though it were beads to be added to a necklace. And I was damn good at finding little bits of guilt lying around. I could be fine one minute and in the throws of a guilt overload the next. I felt responsible for....well just about everything around me and most everything else as well. And the necklace had grown so totally unmanageable and heavy that the real me just was swallowed by it. I said I'm sorry to everything and everyone.
|photo by Leah Curtis|
That was several decades ago, but I still find myself falling into claiming responsibility for things when I know better. Old habits die hard.....or languish long but at least I know it now. Anyway, the point is that I feel better having only one little bloggy to herd and pamper.
Update on our first real No episode. As always, GK is only 13 chronologically, her mature nature took over and she was more than accepting of our decision in a relatively short amount of time. She and SM were laughing and having fun together last night as though nothing had happened. Even her counselor has said of her "sometimes I have to remind myself that GK is still an adolescent because she processes things like an adult". I find her remarkable because she has such a good head on her shoulders. Maybe a little envious of her as well.....I only wish I hadn't had to waste so much time learning things she already knows. Great Kid.
Hope your Sunday is guilt free, fun, full of all the good things we are supposed to be feeling and experiencing........Smooches and Squoozes, Oma Linda