I knew it was going to happen some day soon.
It is a charmed young person who makes it to 13 years before being told absolutely not to her hearts desire. And that time has come.
I've shared with you in the past, of my summer night, lying on the driveway across the street from my parent's house when I was 13 and looking up into the falling star sky and swearing on those stars that I would never forget what it was like to be a kid. I don't think I ever have. I know it was a magic that created my lucky/cursed view of life. It enabled me to work with young people and share their feelings and help them make it through the jumble of emotions that constitute adolescence for over 20 years.
So you would think I would be ready for my own granddaughters heart break but...............when you have to be part of the blockade to her wishes, it takes on a whole different taste, feel and pain.
Everything is going to be fine but in the meantime, Sweet Man asked if he was the most hated man in the world now, because he said no to letting GK go to a before school starts party in the most dangerous section of town, with 4 boys and 2 girls, and none of us know the parents and GK had problems with some of these kids last year. To us (grown ups) it seemed kinda fishy that they would invite her to a party after being so hateful last year. To us (grown ups) it isn't worth the risk of driving through the most gang ridden part of our city where at least one drive by happens every weekend. To us (grown ups) we trust our GK, but don't know the others except by reputation. And most importantly.....we want to keep her safe.
But to her we are just don't understand. But we do. Gosh, I don't know how many of you have been through this but it is a fine line between wanting to protect them from themselves and rethinking how you got to this place. Shelley is such a good Mom. We try to back her up because she deserves our back up. And she even said last night that she was thankful that Sweet Man took on the role of the big bad no monster. But GK sure wasn't. She needs to work out the hurt, disappointment and also her own part in the drama. I trust that we will all be in a better place by this evening but it makes me pause and reflect on how hard it is to be where GK is in life. Finding out who you are, or want to be is hard work. Forgiving yourself, others and how you treat both afterwards are also a big part of growing up.
I never had the opportunity to talk things out with my folks. They said no and that was it. No discussion, no reasons, no thoughts, just no.
GK doesn't realize how fortunate she is that she is encouraged to voice her pain, frustration, anger and it is safe. She also doesn't realize, YET, that we only want the very best for her and want her to flourish and grow.......but she will some day. In the mean time, we will all endeavor to persevere.
Happy Saturday my lovelies, Oma Linda