Take for example the emotions of a 10 year old boy.
Better yet the emotions and behaviors of a wonderful, sweet, caring, 10 year old boy on the autism spectrum.
This darling boy sometimes is afraid of things that I don't understand, if I hadn't seen what disturbs him; bugs, textures, noises and tastes, just by looking at his angelic face, I wouldn't ever be able to see how troubled his waters truly are. My education is ongoing daily, living life with Ry is never dull.
Now we need to add into this equation, feelings, hurts and the past.
With the addition of this element I can begin to explain how our "inside, outside, upside down thinker" went from, being bothered by having homework and that's about it, to a fear struck youngster who was no longer able to control his behaviors. Stemming, scripting, crying, and hateful outbursts were on the menu within a matter of hours. He got in trouble at school for being (out of character for him) a meanie.
All this because he was asked to think about doing the unthinkable for him, talk to his father. It scared the crap out of him and he felt trapped in the here and now.
We had tried to ease him into that situation so that we could quiet the demands being made. His sister, the great and powerful GK, managed to not only talk to her father but also voice questions and her views, and quite frankly, I as a 65 year old am not sure I could have had the guts to ask or say half of what she did. She was a rock star. She felt better having gotten it off her chest, over with and is sure she doesn't want to do it again. She tried to encourage her brother, told him she would hold his hand and we all thought he was on board to doing so in the near future, when he said he was ready to do so. Oh gawd were we way wrong.
It preyed on his mind, so much more than we ever could have imagined, his emotions and his spirit and he had a monumental melt down at school the next day. And after all the negative incidents with children being hurt at school, we can't blame the school for being careful. His therapist says that he will come back up to where he was when he is ready. But in the mean time, our Ry has suffered a huge set back and we are responsible for even allowing him to contemplate having to do what he obviously cannot do.
This happens every time he is faced with this situation. We had hoped that Ry had matured and worked enough of his stuff out so that, yes he would be affected, but like his sister, he might gain more than it would cost him in the long run. We do realize how mistaken we were.
We will simply continue to love, protect and nurture the sweet little critter. He doesn't deserve to live in fear or with something this destructive hanging over him.
Damn I hate having to tell you all this because I know how much you care for him and his well being. It was a lapse in our defense against the dark hearts.
I need to let you know that all of this happened about 2 weeks ago. Ry has been home from school for the last week because he goes to a year round school and this is one of his two 2 1/2 weeks breaks. The break has been excellent for him. We have all had such a good time with him. Trying to make him feel better about himself and the choices that he made in response to a situation. Don't think we let him get away with being a "patoot". We don't. He made his amends for his ugly actions at school and then we moved on with a new clean slate.
The photos in this blog were from an outing to the corn maze taken this last weekend. No trace of the storm in Ry's eyes in these photos and for that I am forever grateful.
Thanks lovelies, Smooches and Squoozes, Oma Linda and the rest of the Cuckoos.