Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Must you really send out invitations to a pity party???????????????

Just wondering. I wouldn't want to be accused of not minding my P's and Q's, ya know. After all, I wouldn't want Ms. Manners to swoop down and call off said party because I don't know the correct procedure in hosting a pity party. My Momma would be appalled and probably take to her bed from the vapors if I didn't know proper etiquette.

Oh well, I'm gonna go out on a limb and just wing it here.

Pneumonia and other maladies be damned, I've got a new best friend by way of physical (or it could be psychological) condition. I'm being visited by my new friend, panic attack and debilitating headache. I'm way too old for this disorder or at least that's what I keep saying over and over as I am doing the deep breathing exercises. Why, one might ask am I panicked? Beats me. No it's not an offer or request.

I do have a sneaking suspicion that it came to be my new worst enemy when I went to get a massage and the woman said she was going to "help" me. Her idea of help and mine were miles apart. I wanted her to work on my tight muscles, she wanted to open me up to let go of whatever it was she thought she sensed in me. Arrogance on her part was only exceeded by ignorance as far as I can tell. She is a do gooder at heart (says she). And felt like she was being called to do what she did. I didn't ask her for that kind of massage or aura work or anything else woo woo. If I had wanted that kind of cleansing or release therapy, I would have requested it.


Yes, she got some stuff churning around but where was she for the week I was in terror and I felt like I was drowning, I couldn't breathe or eat or sleep? Off screwing someone else up, I suppose. I feel like she violated not only my trust but also used me without my permission. And yes, I did say that to her. To which she just tsk, tsked me and said, you will be so glad when you let all that out, dear (like I'm some doddering old fool).

Listen here meddler into my life. I have worked hard to let go of things I am sure that she could not imagine. I have carefully honed the skill of stuffing crap into minuet spaces and not letting them see the light of day. How dare she open up wounds that have scabs older than her? In what reality is it okay to mess with me and leave me to drown, wallow and suffer in it. I've seen regular therapists, counselors, shaman, brujas, culanderas, regression therapists and I do meditation and am constantly working on my own personal protection. In waltzes this born to0 late to be a hippy but giving it the massage therapist try and warps my reality with her "touch".

Talk about having someone work their magic on ya.

I'm still having panic attacks. Mostly gotten all the "wooly boogers" put back in order. But I still feel like I let my guard down when I should have investigated her by way of client referral. She works for the new chiropractor who took over the practice of my 25 year friendship chiropractor. When I told "new guy" about what had happened, well he sorta apologized but said she only uses space in his offices and he couldn't be held accountable for her. Oh great, that makes me feel so much better about you and her. Bye bye new guy.

So I hope you won't mind that I didn't have any food or favors at this party and that I'm giving you the bums rush now that my "too bad, so sad", little rant is over. But thanks for coming to my party.

But I do have a question. Got any suggestions for waking up in a cold sweat and not being able to catch your breath?

Smooches and Squoozes, if ya still want um,
Oma Linda

14 comments:

  1. Wow, what an irresponsible and arrogant...creature. I'm shaking with anger on your behalf. I don't really have anything helpful to offer up. I'm sorry. Just sending you strength and hoping peace finds you again soon.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Not to make light of what you're going through, but if a massage could curb appetites and be getting one right soon. Actually, I've had a few massages and all they did was leave me sore and aching the next day.

    ReplyDelete
  3. So sorry to hear this has happened to you, Oma Linda! I hope everything gets back to good again soon.

    And I believe the official food at these kind of parties is pita -- because there's nothing so much fun as a pita pity party. Try saying that three times!

    ReplyDelete
  4. There is nothing worse than to be massaged by an idiot. And I bet you felt like strangling her. My goodness! Some time back, okay, it was just a couple of months... I went to get a deep tissues massage. My doctor recommended a few people. They were all too far away, so I got someone off the list *big mistakes*. She came into the room with lava stones. Don't get me wrong, I love me some lava stones, but for a deep tissue massage? Yes, I let wanting to hit the cretin in the head with one of her healing rocks.

    I hope the breathing exercises work, Oma Luv.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Straight talking required here.
    She was WAY out of order! It is totally inappropriate to force anyone to "open up". In my humble opinion, what you just experienced was tantamount to psychological rape! She is using whatever gift she may have to bully people, and be sure it will come back to bite her ass.
    I personally feel that it is ANGER/RAGE that is fuelling your anxiety attacks, and these are the emotions that you need to regain control of. Hopefully this post will begin that healing. This is so NOT a pity party. You are doing the right thing asking for help with this situation XXX

    ReplyDelete
  6. No suggestions as I've never suffered from panic attacks, but sending positive energy your way to help you work through your willies. Yuck to gal who took it upon herself to fix you. Peace and love dear one.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Wow. I just don't see how that's the kind of thing you do with a new person in the first session. Totally irresponsible. I have no suggestions, never had a panic attack. When any of my old shit drifts up to consciousness I treat it like an unwelcome guest...what the fuck are you doing here, I already dealt with you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I agree this treatment was totally out of line. Maybe confronting her personally would help. I agree with Gina this was akin to rape.

    I have no suggestions except maybe take your power back, obviously this ass hat disrupted your personal power.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Good grief, what school of massage did she study at? I agree with Gina. She had no right to "fix" you with out your permission. I do hope these attacks stop soon. I haven't ever had any but a friend years ago did and they were debilitating. My friend eventually quit having them, i really don't know what she did. I do hope you are better or very close to there now. Sending you only positive energy. Be well my friend.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oma Linda, I am so sorry! No pity party, I am glad you told us and I am glad you are asking for help! This is what happened to me last year for about 3 months, couldn't breath, felt like a caged animal. Truly crying a lot, talking to mom and forcing myself out of the house saved me and all of you did too! Sending you big healing hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm so sorry that you're hurting. I wish that it was as easy as saying "don't give her that power over you" but I know that if that's all it took, you'd be on top of it. I hope you can get back on track soon. Sending warm hugs and soothing thoughts your way.

    ReplyDelete
  12. That is exceedingly awful! I think we all must come to terms with inner turmoil and energy work can definitely be a help, but being forced to do it? Unethical barely begins to cover it! How is that not going to cause more trauma than the one she attempted to heal? This terrifies me on so many levels. *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  13. I am so furious and sad for you, BB. What a jerky beee-atch. So officious and holier-than-thou. I hope you can ease out of this situation and get back to who you need to be (and want to be...not panicked). Keep a good thought now, and here is a hug!

    ReplyDelete
  14. A little bit late to this party, but after reading your story I feel compelled to chime in.
    No one, no matter what the circumstances or perception of a person, should ever attempt any kind of therapy or healing without consultation and here's the big one, PERMISSION. It is dangerous, reckless and high handed.
    This will not make a difference in how you have been treated, but as with everything, balance is desired and she will be revisited by her arrogance, insensitivity and lack of professional scruples.
    I hope as it has been some weeks since your experience, that your equilibrium has been restored and you are feeling like yourself once again.
    Be well....sending light your way!

    ReplyDelete

I love to hear from you. Thanks for taking the time to comment.