Wednesday, January 27, 2016

What's new Linda???????????/

Well let's see, because of last weekend's trip to the hospital, it was difficult to adopt the kittens from Animal Humane. I really had to do a song and dance. Funny thing is they didn't have any harsh judgement of my angry outburst but we will have to have visitations to see how we all are doing for three months. The cats are very shy and it is going very slowly with them. Bliss, the baby has warmed up to me and sleeps on my chest. Mama Joy secretly has a crush on Joe and sleeps right next to his feet. It is quite an interesting sleeping situation.

I have a record for dog bite case (no I didn't bite a dog, many years ago our St. Bernard bit a woman who walked in unannounced and scared all the dogs and people at my friend Verna's place. Murphy thought that she was attacking all of us and the St Bernard puppies that Verna had just acquired and he did what he thought he had to do). That along with the Humiliation on a plate of shut the hell up Linda last week will also be around to haunt me forever. That has taught me to keep my big mouth shut (unless speaking to a counselor) and announce to my family when I am pissed and need some space that I will be coming back when I get back.

It's been hard to form sentences, or thoughts since then. First I was embarrassed and ashamed, then I was irked and annoyed and now, well I'm stewing in my own juices. I am the cause of my own feelings with a side order of other things thrown in.

I don't blame anyone who took my "cry for help" seriously, as a matter of fact I am humbled.

I made a mistake. I said what I was thinking which has always gotten me into trouble but I am still an adult, and I can manage to not drool on myself, wipe my own bottom and apologize when I have gone around the bend. I am truly sorry for hurting anyone else but I am the most sorry for hurting me. Making me feel ever stupider than I needed to.

I will never feel clean again after being in the back of a squad car and the looney bin. That's my problem. I will need to get over all of this on my own. Luckily the one person with whom I was the angriest and I have made amends with each other. Joe has been very kind to me and does understand. The rest of the world will need to give me some time to get my shit all in one pile again. I make no guarantees that I will ever be the same and hoping in many ways that I will not be ever again.

The kittens, I have since realized, are feral. They may have been "surrendered by the owner" but I think the owner was probably an apartment manager or some such that found them and took them to the Animal Humane. This only means a little longer to socialize them. We made the mistake of trying to introduce the most docile of our other cats and YIKES. Momma Joy was gonna kick some serious kitty butt. So for now they live in our bedroom and the rest of the house belongs to the others. Nothing like a new set of circumstances to take your mind off of yourself.

Smooches and Squoozes,
Oma Linda

10 comments:

  1. Sounds like all is working out. Enjoy.

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  2. My advice? You might not be able to do it, but if it were for SOMEONE ELSE, would you make it possible for THEM to do it? I suggest a trip to the beach or a large body of water. A trip clears the head. It lets a person put their supposed transgressions into perspective. Linda, look around. Look around at the wide world. You are not stupid. You are not bad. Did you run your mouth? Big deal. We all do, and we don't usually get the cops sic'd on us! You need a break! Not blame!

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  3. I am happy you had more furry babies. And that they are so selective about their sleeping preferences.

    About the rest, I think we do need to be careful about who we speak about certain things. Some people tend to panic (especially if they haven't been there). It seems to me you are taking things very well. I understand the anger, and the hot face--your heart is too huge and you care too much, so of course there will be some guilt... or a lot of guilt. You go ahead and tell that guilt that she's not allow in my house. Friends and loved ones are allowed to mess up every now and then, allowed to scream and pull their own hair, allowed to explode a bit... we love them anyway. We know that they are human. And that they are ours. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

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  4. I know it's difficult to take comfort when we are beating ourselves up, but you are not alone. I've been through it as well, the result of an abusive relationship which landed me in the loony bin until the psychiatrist realized it was alcohol induced. I will never forget being strapped into a chair and being carried to the ambulance with all the neighbors and my children watching. But it does have it's positive side. I ended the relationship that almost killed me. Feel better soon.

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  5. Saying exactly what's on your mind has always gotten me into trouble as well. These days I try to keep some things to myself, but that is usually where the best stuff is to write about.

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  6. We've all made stupid mistakes and bad decisions in our lives, Oma Linda. I know I certainly have. Just have to remember -- "chin up and tits out!" -- as we move forward.

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  7. Oh my, would be nice if social services where as stricked. (now calm down Debi)
    I hope you know , " shit happens"
    Human after all, Pish posh!
    Now file it all away, it's not useful or wanted, you have more important things to occupy your heart with! Huge, hugs! xoDebi
    PS......I can top them both........wink,wink!

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  8. don't be too hard on yourself. who hasn't gone off the deep end? love yourself Linda, because you do deserve it.

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  9. Oma Linda, I can't stress enough of how much we love you! I don't think you are stupid! Don't beat yourself up young lady! We are always here for you! Always! If I told you half the things, that I did in 2014, it would blow your mind! You take care of you!!!!! Love yourself!! You are brilliant! I am so fortunate to know you! Big Hugs and Much Love!

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  10. Hope you are feeling stronger and often a new set of problems on four legs can be helpful. Stay strong lady.

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