Well let's see, because of last weekend's trip to the hospital, it was difficult to adopt the kittens from Animal Humane. I really had to do a song and dance. Funny thing is they didn't have any harsh judgement of my angry outburst but we will have to have visitations to see how we all are doing for three months. The cats are very shy and it is going very slowly with them. Bliss, the baby has warmed up to me and sleeps on my chest. Mama Joy secretly has a crush on Joe and sleeps right next to his feet. It is quite an interesting sleeping situation.
I have a record for dog bite case (no I didn't bite a dog, many years ago our St. Bernard bit a woman who walked in unannounced and scared all the dogs and people at my friend Verna's place. Murphy thought that she was attacking all of us and the St Bernard puppies that Verna had just acquired and he did what he thought he had to do). That along with the Humiliation on a plate of shut the hell up Linda last week will also be around to haunt me forever. That has taught me to keep my big mouth shut (unless speaking to a counselor) and announce to my family when I am pissed and need some space that I will be coming back when I get back.
It's been hard to form sentences, or thoughts since then. First I was embarrassed and ashamed, then I was irked and annoyed and now, well I'm stewing in my own juices. I am the cause of my own feelings with a side order of other things thrown in.
I don't blame anyone who took my "cry for help" seriously, as a matter of fact I am humbled.
I made a mistake. I said what I was thinking which has always gotten me into trouble but I am still an adult, and I can manage to not drool on myself, wipe my own bottom and apologize when I have gone around the bend. I am truly sorry for hurting anyone else but I am the most sorry for hurting me. Making me feel ever stupider than I needed to.
I will never feel clean again after being in the back of a squad car and the looney bin. That's my problem. I will need to get over all of this on my own. Luckily the one person with whom I was the angriest and I have made amends with each other. Joe has been very kind to me and does understand. The rest of the world will need to give me some time to get my shit all in one pile again. I make no guarantees that I will ever be the same and hoping in many ways that I will not be ever again.
The kittens, I have since realized, are feral. They may have been "surrendered by the owner" but I think the owner was probably an apartment manager or some such that found them and took them to the Animal Humane. This only means a little longer to socialize them. We made the mistake of trying to introduce the most docile of our other cats and YIKES. Momma Joy was gonna kick some serious kitty butt. So for now they live in our bedroom and the rest of the house belongs to the others. Nothing like a new set of circumstances to take your mind off of yourself.
Smooches and Squoozes,