Monday, July 9, 2018

More's the pity...........but I'm still smiling

Until recently, I wasn't sure I actually had a firm grasp of what that phrase means. I am now sure.
It means.....it is sad; it is a great pity or shame.
This is exactly how I feel about my recent floor activities, ie, falling down and going boom. Yep, it happened again. CRAP. I was just getting some better from my last failed Ice Capades crash when swoosh, the floor and I once again had a meeting.

I have to tell you that since my knee surgery (complete replacement on the right) in 2009, the floor and I have had very few meetings. I was told that I should avoid stressing my new bionic knee that way. I also need to remind you that at one point in my menopausal past, that Meniere's (an autoimmune deficiency caused imbalance in the inner ear, thanks Mom for all those trips to the Dr. on whom you had a huge crush when I was a kid, for a shot of penicillin) caused me to fall down at least 3 times a week for several months until we figured out what was causing my trips (pun) to the floor. So you see, been there, done that, shouldn't be doing it now. 

I fell going from the back porch, through the dining room, to the front porch. I had a bit of slippage issue, as in my left foot kept going while the rest of me was on the rug. When I felt the splits coming I caved and fell. Damn tile. Slip and slide right into the china cabinet in which I keep all my glassware. As I was sliding down the knobs on the front of the cabinet, the only thought I had was.......oh, hell's bells, there goes all of my cobalt glass and I bet I get cut really badly. Luckily my ability as a prognosticator sucks as badly as my balance. No breaks, no cuts. Only a long ugly bruise on my spine from my bra strap level to my tail bone. Actually it happened in reverse of that. 

nope not mine, got this from google but nice range of color, eh?

So as my hubby likes to tell it.....I wasn't satisfied with a circular bruise around my left boob and running along my rib cage, from the Elephant ear pot I fell into the first time and had to "paint" my back the same ugly color of purplish black, magenta, green, gold and turned into  dark skin where the bruise used to be.

Went to see the Chiropractor today. He said I am grounded (another nasty play on words) from participating in anymore demolition derby events. He moved "things" back into their correct positions and sent me on my way for an afternoon of icy fun (ice packs), Arnica massage and licking my wounds.

Guess what I am getting for myself as a right of passage into a "human crash dummy" model phase of my life? Yep, on of those Olde Lady buttons on a lanyard, so I can at least have some help getting my old buttcheeks off of the the floor (who says I don't have a good plan to see hunky firemen). Yes, it is demeaning on one level, but the semi intelligent part of my personality is telling me, it's time. Besides, I hear you can bedazzle the hell outta those puppies.


I think I'll choose silver

Smooches and Squoozes, Oma Linda (in technicolor)

5 comments:

  1. Are you using anything to help you with balance? Cane? Staff? A really helpful firefighter with steady arms? When my pain is beyond horrid, my balance suffers. So I walk around with staff, even inside the house. It was hard to get used to it at first, but... it's nice not to bang into things. I've only fallen once, but goodness gracious...my arms, the side of my face, my poor left boob, and my toes tested all the door frames and the corners of furniture. They didn't like it. Neither did I.

    I use a pillow to sit on (people often stare when I'm riding the bus or the train, so I have a pillow case with Krampus on it, and now everyone looks away because I make it a huge deal to sit on his face... and grin). I take a stick (or a steady, long-handled parasol) everywhere I go on bad days. I check in with my Piano Man or a friend if I'm going on long walks, in case I run face-first into a piece of unbalanced dirt that doesn't like me much. It's not demeaning, Oma Linda, it's necessary and smart. Nothing that helps us be as independent as we can manage, one way or another, should be seen as demeaning. I'm not saying that it isn't annoying, even infuriating. But never demeaning. Don't let it become that.

    Silver is a good color.

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  2. Sorry to hear about your bad falls -- no laughing matter! If you're slipping on bare floors (as opposed to tripping on area rugs) then you might want to consider the greater stability of wearing low heeled rubber soled shoes indoors, not sock feet, slippers or bare feet. And those call alarms are great too, especially if you're alone when your husband is out.

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  3. Way to go Oma...literally finding the silver lining in this situation lol Maybe a bit of meditation could calm your busy mind and help it focus on the fundamentals?(like staying upright). I know I have to concentrate while walking as I realised I was dragging my left foot and tipping myself*maybe it is a witchy thing? We are always depicted with a hump or/and a limp lol* XXX

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  4. oh I'm so sorry for your pain and embarrassment but that was so funny. I keep getting calls from my medicare supplement insurer that wants to come out and do a house check...make sure there are no slippery rugs and that we have grab bars in the bathroom, all that old people stuff. so far I have declined.

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  5. Yikes. You certainly have no need for tattoos to color you up. Think I would get a cane at least and the alarm can't hurt. I am thinking about one of those myself.

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