Sunday, July 15, 2018

What's your passion?

It has always been and will always be my family. Joe, my husband of 47 years come this November is the rock on which we are all anchored. Shelley my daughter, with whom I have shared all of my life that is important or relevant is the prize I was given. And then of course my heart and my soul.....my grands. GereaKaye is my soul sister, her brother Ry is my birthday twin and my heart and both are the reward of sharing everything imaginable.

This passion has brought me love, tears, pride, fear and all the other emotions most Grandmothers, Mothers and Wives feel.

However they have been my lifeboat literally. My passion is also my saving grace.

When I think of the family I came from, I now know that I sought to craft my loved ones into my armor. These four humans have been the product of that crafting. Whether it be from witchy ways, shared "spit and vinegar", loving with compassion and toughness or just "forced fun", we are and will always be the Cuckoos.

The only fly in my ointment is that I am dependent on my loves. My passion is also my biggest downfall. I have for the last 9 years devoted myself to their needs, wants, desires, heart aches, accomplishments, surprises and lives to the exclusion of me sometimes. Our Cuckoos nest will be minus the youngers and the olde birds will be left with creating our own new normal.

So right at the moment, my passion is tearing at my heart with every box packed, every item donated to elsewhere, every moment that marches us to the time of parting when the Cuckoos who came to stay for 6 months, nine years ago.

I ache, I cry, I hope, I smile.........we'll all look back at this with different colored memories.

Passion is holding on to each other and finding new ways to make it happen in the future. The close, cozy, safe, familiar will wear new clothes and we'll make it work.

But in the meantime, Oma is holding on to whatever I can get.....like the life raft I have been in called  "passion".

15 comments:

  1. Those we love and are loved by are one of the greatest sources of strength we can find. Like any other source of energy, they can get tricky at times. But when we work with and for each other, the aches are often worth our while.

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    1. Of course you are right. I am just faltering as I watch this happening. I trust I'll find joy in a quieter, less stress filled, slower paced existence. I also know that I will replace my passion with the kiddos with getting back at my "arting". It's all gonna be okay

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  2. Hope your armor will still be close enough to keep you in their lives. With today's technology distance is almost obsolete.

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    1. They are moving only about 45 minutes away, which of course is nothing. It's not proximity that troubles me. It's that I will no longer have my kiddos here to harass and be bugged by. The lack of noise will be the worst.....but then I've bitched about that at times as well. We're never happy with what we have until it is about to change..............human nature

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  3. I know you will come through this transition just as strong as you were when you brought the young 'un's into your home for 6 months (9 years). I'm also sure you will have days of sadness at the change but also days of rejoicing when you see the wonderful new life those young 'un's are making on their own. They will do well because of the love, support and good examples you and Joe have given them all their lives and will continue to give them. I'm sure they have given back much love, support and will continue to do so from their new place in life. Hugs to you.

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    1. Jan, I'm am sure you are right. I can honestly say I am looking forward to being able to go back to "arting" and not worrying whether it will be covered with ??????????????. Thanks for the lovely thought

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  4. Oh Linda, I understand this so well. It was the same for me; my passion was my husband, children, and our home. You will survive; you and Your Mister will thrive. Are they staying anywhere close to home? I lost all of mine all at once. The DIL moved back to the base when The Soldier came home and took the grands along with her of course. That was when my husband was diagnosed terminal and we sold our home of 24 years. Then my Mom passed, and then my Dad just six weeks before my husband passed, and yet I stand. We are Mighty Women. As long as we have breath within our lungs, we stand, we hold it all together, we find beauty. We are the source God uses to continue life.

    All my love to you,
    Deb

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    1. You are exactly who I've thought of when I've started to be really sad. You are an inspiration to me and so many others. To be real honest, I'm a little ashamed of being a cry baby because of you and others who have really had to adjust to being just you. Thanks for your very kind and generous thoughts

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  5. "When I think of the family I came from, I now know that I sought to craft my loved ones into my armor. "

    I relate to that line... to the entire post... so very much! My extended family is... ahem... complicated, but my own little family, that I created, means everything to me. And I'm not so far off the time when my husband and I will also, "be left with creating our own new normal." I totally understand the melancholy of that. ❤

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    1. so very sweet of you to get where I am coming from. It's sad but true. We raise them to leave.....but the leaving is so hard when you get along as well as the Cuckoos do. Thanks dear one

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  6. Cozy nests are very comforting, even with a goodbye looming ahead. My eldest is about to try his wings at college soon. I couldn't be prouder, but I will miss him too.

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  7. Passion your downfall... your liferaft.... I so relate to this, a lot of people believe being selfish may mean I would do more art, but in truth... being selfish is me clinging to my family and not letting them go... we are close, my babes and I, and I am finding a spot where they can be independent and blossom yet I can still nourish in some ways... my Big F is more adaptable I feel, for the first time with him and Milo the Wonderdog males outnumber females in our home... here's the thing though, our new normal, still includes all the fam... only locations (and mega grocery shops) changed :)

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  8. This must be such a hard transition Oma Linda!! I know in my heart, you will all stay close!!! Big Hugs! (Your post was written so beautifully!!!)

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  9. Maybe you should reintroduce you.....to you and make yourself your passion <3

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  10. So powerful, heartwarming and beautifully written. I love how you expressed your deep passion for family and loving them..I so agree, my loved ones are my greatest treasure and I cherish them!Wishing your heartache will ease in time..and wishing new magic and blessings and adventures ahead for you!

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