It has always been and will always be my family. Joe, my husband of 47 years come this November is the rock on which we are all anchored. Shelley my daughter, with whom I have shared all of my life that is important or relevant is the prize I was given. And then of course my heart and my soul.....my grands. GereaKaye is my soul sister, her brother Ry is my birthday twin and my heart and both are the reward of sharing everything imaginable.
This passion has brought me love, tears, pride, fear and all the other emotions most Grandmothers, Mothers and Wives feel.
However they have been my lifeboat literally. My passion is also my saving grace.
When I think of the family I came from, I now know that I sought to craft my loved ones into my armor. These four humans have been the product of that crafting. Whether it be from witchy ways, shared "spit and vinegar", loving with compassion and toughness or just "forced fun", we are and will always be the Cuckoos.
The only fly in my ointment is that I am dependent on my loves. My passion is also my biggest downfall. I have for the last 9 years devoted myself to their needs, wants, desires, heart aches, accomplishments, surprises and lives to the exclusion of me sometimes. Our Cuckoos nest will be minus the youngers and the olde birds will be left with creating our own new normal.
So right at the moment, my passion is tearing at my heart with every box packed, every item donated to elsewhere, every moment that marches us to the time of parting when the Cuckoos who came to stay for 6 months, nine years ago.
I ache, I cry, I hope, I smile.........we'll all look back at this with different colored memories.
Passion is holding on to each other and finding new ways to make it happen in the future. The close, cozy, safe, familiar will wear new clothes and we'll make it work.
But in the meantime, Oma is holding on to whatever I can get.....like the life raft I have been in called "passion".